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Day 10

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (Or a few!) Tell us what makes it work for you, and why it appeals to you so much. Talk about what you like to see in fanworks featuring that theme most. Feel free to include recs and examples!

OK, so… I almost don’t want to say. Which is horrible, because I’m pretty much kink-shaming myself. :-P If that is making sense.

Because I like darkfic. And I don’t mean just a little-spanking-so-called-darkfic. I mean down the rabbit hole absolutely horrible darkfic that could give you nightmares. That kind of darkfic.

It’s not written often, especially not in all fandoms. I think it depends on the fandom. Where darkfic is the ‘biggest’, if you could say that according to my experience, is in the Buffy-fandom. Because there’s vampires. And they survive anything and heal anything. (I’ve read fics where vampires have been cut to pieces. Literary. And been kept that way. Ehm…) So so much good darkfic in that fandom.

But to my surprise, once I learned how to use the fic warnings in various archives, there’s quite a lot of darkfic going on in the Tokio Hotel fandom to. Once you know HOW to look for them, they’re there. There’s more than you might think. And a lot of it is really good!

Not that much in the Pirates-fandom. Interestingly enough since there’s various variations of zombie-pirates… In the Pirates-fandom there’s, however, a lot of cliché fic! All the pirate-clichés you can think off! *lol* However, in the Pirates-fandom there’s quite a few fic where the writer has incorporated real historic people, pirates from history. Which is interesting. :-)

Oh, another fandom where you could find quite a bit of darkfic was in the Sons of Anarchy fandom, but that’s not so strange, is it? That whole TV-show was a darkfic in and off itself. *lol* Since the show has ended though there’s not much action going on in the fandom. A shame.

So… WHY do I like darkfic so much? I think it’s the same thing why I loved dark biographies when I grew up. I mean, I read some seriously dark stories when I grew up, apart from all the fantasy books I read. As an example two of my favorite books from when I was… 14 or 15 years old are Phantom by Susan Kay and And I don't want to live this life - A mother's story of her daughter's murder by Deborah Spungen, which should tell you a lot. :-)

And then there’s the little thing about my loving tru crime stories, and that’s pretty dark to, isn’t it? So I guess I just like dark stories, be it fiction, biographies or fanfic. :-)

This entry is cross posted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Anything I can get my hand on that's flat enough. :-) Most commonly though? A random sheet of paper or toilette paper. Yes, toilette paper. I do read books in there, not only guys do. :-P

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I don't drink coffee, despite my country being one of the countries that drink the most coffee. :-) I drink tea. With just honey in it. Not sugar, that tastes disgusting. Just honey. And 95% of the time I drink it in my travel mug. :-)

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Not hugely, no. :-) I've been told it's quite a nice smile. If a little crocked. :-) I do smile alot, since I think that is a small way to make the world a happier place. As a librarian you smile a lot at your job as well. Not hard as a school-librarian though. Most of the kids are awesome. :-)

6: do you keep plants?

I do indeed! Even though I'm not that great at caring for them. I forget the water them at times and such. But for some reason orchids thrive here. I have NO IDEA way! But I have orchids EVERYWHERE here! And they bloom! A LOT! I also have a chili peper plant that Peting got as a birthday gift from Spicehobbit. :-) It has started to bloom and have fruit again! It's not the strongest chili peper there is, but it apparently has quite a bit of kick to it still.

7: do you name your plants?

Nope. :-) I do talk swear to them. X-D

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Writing and talking. :-) If that counts? And of course... RPGs, roleplaying pen-paper style and... LARP!

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Not so much singing/humming. I do walk around talking to myself though. Especially at work. X-D

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

When I go to bed I stretch out on my back for a bit, and then I turn on my side falling asleep. And, according to Peting, I move around a lot in the bed. I'll take his word for it. :-)


( All the questions! )

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Can I just say HOLY FUCKING SHIT IN THE OCEAN?!?!?!?! o.O Now I've been part of friending memes before, many times. But I've never EVER been a part of one that has taken off like this. My flist is BURSTING! Geezes, fuck! o.O

Excuse the language, but yeah... o.O Circling the wagon -friending meme rocked my socks off!

Anyway, so part of the deal was to make a post about myself, so here goes... I'll excuse my wordiness right away.

( So we begin.. )

( Education and work…. )

( Family... )

( Fandoms... )

( Hobbies... )

And I… think that’s it. Props to you if you got through all that. Told you I was wordy! X-D

If you got any questions, I’ll be happy to answer. :-) I really am an open book.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I don't even know how to start this post, but...

I found out I've lost a really good friend yesterday. She killed herself. Slit her wrists and her throat. Less than two weeks ago.

We'd known each other for about 5 years. She was such a wonderful woman. Struggling with the incurable disease Lupus or SLE, not to mention sever depression and numerous other problems. She struggled on, and found joy in fandoms, fanfic and roleplaying.

And we bonded over that. We did several roleplaying lines. Mostly really dark, thriller or horror, since we both enjoyed doing that.

We had so much fun! And she said, numerous times, that talking to me and roleplaying with me helped her a lot. She smoked a lot of weed when I started talking to her, but she stopped that habit, crediting me for it. I don't know if it's true or not, but I am proud of the fact she managed to quit.

She has a son to. A gorgeous boy, who I think is 9 or 10 by now.

She pushed me when I struggled through IVF to get my darling girl. Cheering me on all the way. She'd planned to adopt her son, but changed her mind and loved him dearly, no matter how tough her life was.

And it was. I won't tell everything here, because hey... told in confidence, but holy fuck. Let's just say I'm happy my family is the good kind of crazy... So that she managed to make such a good life for herself and her kid, is amazing.

She had her support, of course. A good friend who stayed by her side through thick and thin and that she was a roommate with, sharing a house.

Sadly, that was not enough. A lot happened to both of us. And me, I could not be there for her the same way that I used to. I got my daughter. And then I started working fulltime. And since she lived in New Zealand, the time-difference ended up being a huge issue. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about it, but yeah... I did my best, and when I saw that she'd cut herself I sent her an email of course. No response, but I didn't expect one since I knew she didn't respond any when she was really down, even if she always read everything.

And then, when I saw a coffin on her instagram, I thought it was her room-mate that had died, and passed my condolence. It wasn't. I got an answer from him, who she'd left her password to where he told me she'd died, killed herself.

I still can't believe it. And I ache and hurt for her sweet son. Now stuck in child services, despite seeing her best friend and roommate as family... Just wish I could help him.

*sigh*

Rest In Peace, Tashé. I hope you know that you were so very very loved. And not alone.


This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I rewatched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides the other day. Well, I've rewatched all four of them since I ended up in a roleplaying Will Turner, cursed Captain of the Flying Dutchman in a RPG (slashed with Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Yep. It works.). And I LOVE and adore the first three movies! Well, my favorites being Dead Man's Chest and At Worlds End, what with the story-arc of Will Turner and the AWESOMENESS that is The Flying Dutchman and crew! (Yes, I fangirl a ship. Shut up.)

But the last movie, On Stranger Tides? It just don't... have the the same feeling. The same heart. Everyone just says that it's just because there's no Will Turner in it that I don't like it. And yeah, that's partly the reason, but not all.

I mean, I don't mind to much the fact there's no Will Turner in it.

No. What I do mind, however...

Is that Will Turner's and Elisabeth Swan's story arcs, so tightly woven together with Jack Sparrow's story arc... is totally ignored. When watching the forth movie, it's like you can just forget everything that happened in the first three, like they didn't matter. And THAT... is what bothers me the most. And I doubt that'll improve if/when the fifth movie arrives...

And now I've ranted about that. Just had to get that off my chest.

Talking about fandoms though, I have started working with a brilliant layout-maker to make a layout for tokiohotelslash. It'll cost me a bit from my own pocket, but hey... I think it's worth it. That place needs some loving. :-) And I can't wait to see what she'll come up with, since she does both coding and graphics. Gonna be fun! :-)

That's that about fandoms.

Now to the reason for my absence, if anyone even cares...

I've felt a bit low, if you will. Because I've had some serious troubles with the unemployment fund. I mean, I do qualify for support so should get money from them. BUT!!! And this is what had me so bothered...

Because I worked in June 2012. Like, mayorly pregnant and close to when Alexandra was born. I only worked in the big City Library for three hours that day. The only day that month. And then, a month and a week or so later, Alexandra was born. And my life as a new mom and getting used to that started.

Thing is. I never reported in those hours. I never got paid for them, since the finance department / payroll never ever got my paperwork. That also meant that I couldn't get a certificate of employment...

This, as it showed, got me in some serious troubles with the unemployment fund. :-/

Because they NEEDED that certificate of employment or I wouldn't get ANY money from them. They had ALL the paperwork they needed to, and had doublechecked with all the finance departments / payrolls of every job I've had these last years, since that is what they do. And when doing that, they noticed one certificate of employment was missing.

Now.

That meant I had to hand in my report on them hours to the finance department / payroll... more than one year late. Since I did the job in June 2012. And I had to have my then boss at the City Library sign it. She had no problems doing that. There were records of me working said hours at the library. So she did.

Then I called the finance department / payroll again telling them paperwork is on the way! At which point they told me it wasn't certain they COULD get me in their records since it was so long ago, and it's a new year and all that... But that they would try and I just had to wait since they went through all the paperwork for those hired by the hour in the mid/end of the month.

Which left me in limbo, pretty much, and living of peting73. He don't mind, but all this trouble left me feeling very down, I have to say.

And then there was this trouble with LJ and ALL the drama that came with it since there are too many people in too many fandoms that don't think but just spread rumors and... Yeah. That to pulled me down. (Here's some info on that issue, btw. From staff. In the USA, if that makes you feel better: Info from markf HERE.)

So I pretty much stopped reading on LJ. Stopped posting. Stopped reading fanfic. Stopped everything. Except chatting with my friends. Roleplaying with them. And helping them with THEIR fic. Because I just couldn't deal with all the rest.

LJ, fandom, fanfics... roleplaying. It's supposed to be fun, and it wasn't. I am now slowly, ever so slowly, getting back to it. It still feels fun. And I hope it'll continue to be that.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Just to get some background here, let's take a walk down memory lane and my roleplay history...

( My roleplaying history... )

But after a while, I had NO ONE to play with! In any fandom! That won't do... And since I have a friend who was curious at it, we tried it out she and I. And after some misshaps, we started playing a game, a story-line, that got REALLY interesting, REALLY fast! :-D

( Now for the issue... )

Help? Some advice needed? Or just a thought? Anything?


This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I'd written up half an intropost of sorts... and then lost the draft. Well, dammit! *lol* Oh well. Let's see if I can do it again...

Me

I am born 19th of July 1977, making me 35 years old. I grew up on the countryside, but now lives in a city. And very happy about that! My hobbies include fangirling online, reading books, watching movies and TV-shows, gaming (WoW), LARP, roleplaying (online or pen-paper), hanging out with family and friends or just being plain lazy. :-D

Family

I am a new mom, since my daughter Alexandra (mini_viking for photos...) was born 9th of August. I've been with my fiancé/hubby since 2003, and we do love each other just as much today as we did then. Now it just has added to it what with being parents. :-) And no, we ain't married. It took me 6 years wait to get the first ring, so I guess paitence is a virtue. ;-)

Then there's mom. She is as insane as me, and with a mind WAY pervier then me... My goodness! If you at any point think I am bad, you should have a discussion with my mom one day. ;-) She grew up a city girl, but moved to the countryside with my dad. She is a nurse, and very good at it to loving her job! She really rocks at cheering up people with her special sense of humor, be they young or old. ;-)

Dad, who was also one HELL of a man, if you ask me. :-) He sadly died 2002 though. I miss him still, probably always always will. All the fun we've had, and all the stuff he taught us. He was a farmerboy, through and through. :-D Grew up on a farm and worked on it from the moment he could walk. But having a love for anything with an engine, he ended up a mechanic. He will probably always be the most handy/practical person I've ever meet. No one will beat him there. Didn't matter what broken thing you gave him. He fixed it. Well, the only thing he didn't get was computers. *lol*

And then theres' my little brother, four years younger then me. :-) He takes after dad, extremly handy/practical and can fix almost anything you give him. He has a wonderful wife and two kids, and I am oh so very VERY proud of him! When we were kids we were fighting almost all the time, then we moved away from home and grew apart some... But now we are closer then ever. :-D I do so very much love him and his family. :-) He wouldn't dream of living in a city. Cities stresses him out somewhat. *lol* He lives on the countryside and works as a farmhand on a bigger farm.

My extended family is HUGE! HUGE and insane and loving and just... crazy. X-D I got my sense of humor and my straightforwardness from somewhere after all... ;-)

Also, there's my two crazy cats Skuld and Verdandi who me and hubby got after we've lived together for a year... they are 7 or 8 years old by now, but still as crazy as they were when they were kittens... :-)

Friends

My best friend, my sister in all but blood is spicehobbit. She's been my friend through thick and thin. We've had each others backs since we were 13 years old. And since both of us are 35 now, that makes us best friends for 22 years... o.O We've decided when we get past 60, we'll go to an amusement park with our walking sticks, be seniour nuisances and be a pain in the ass to the teens! X-D

I also have plenty, plenty friends in the local vampire-LARP club. I am oldest woman there, most of them younger then me, but eh... :-) I love them they are awesome all around. Sweet girls and boys more or less goth all of them. :-) I love meeting them every time it is time for a LARP! And I love hanging out with them randomly to!

And then there's my online-friends... SO MANY!!! I've lost a few since I started hangning out online and be active in various fandoms, but I've gained many. And many have stayed through the years to. :-) Most of them I've found here on LJ.

LiveJournal

I've been on Livejournal since December 2003. This place is MORE then "just" a blogging-site or journaling-site. It is hard to put into words, but it's safe to say this is my HOME on the net.

Fandoms

Now to the interesting stuff, right? ;-)

When me and my best friend got to know each other Robin of Sherwood ran on swedish television. We both got extremly hooked and wrote fanfic (terrible Mary Sues!) and drew fanart back then. We didn't know anything about fandoms and fanfics though, since this was before the internet pretty much, and we didn't know anything about fanzines. :-)

Then I went to live in the USA (yes, I lived there for a year, working as an aupair in the state of New Hampshire). And the family I lived with that year, they were fans of Xena: WarriorPrincess. It was a thing they watched as a family. So I joined them. And turned into a diehard Xenaite.

And then when I came home from the US, I went to study and live on my own. And lo and behold... at breakfast time, there was re-runs of Buffy the VampireSlayer. It didn't take long before I turned into a fan of said show to. Around this time, I found LJ, and it all went downhill from there.. *lol*

I meet my darling hubby, peting73, and we share a lot of interest. Especially when it comes to movies. And he dragged me with him to watch the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Then to the next one. And then I was hooked and I was the one doing the dragging for the third one. I am not to fond of the forth one though, I will admit. The first three movies I love and adore and I will admit to be a heavy fangirl fo those. :-)

Talking of friends, I do have a few RL friends here on LJ. And one of them, kaijn, made a post with a certain Tom Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel one day when I was reading on LJ peacefully. I had no idea who he was, thinking he was some sort of j-pop person (I mean, TOKIO Hotel, give me a break...). I was soon told otherwise, and started surfing around for music and info about the four boys, found TH TV, and... here we are today... I am the most active in this fandom, being a diehard fan of Georg and Gustav. I love them G's dearly.

And I thought that would be the end, but alas... No such thing.

My hubby, who I share many interests with, found out about the TV-show Sons of Anarchy... I didn't think this would be a show for me at all... but I watched a few episodes of season one... and BAM! I got hooked. Dammit. I am still just tipping my toes in this fandom, and I SO VERY MUCH blame my hubby for it...


Right so... Uhu... Don't really know what else to write, but yeah. That'll be me. If you got any questions or want to know anything or... whatever. :-) Feel free to ask whenever, however, whatever. X-D I am an open book, disgustingly honest, so if you ask me a question, I WILL answer it! :-D (Yes I love sex, no I ain't straight, yes I love both men and woman, yes I love my men a bit hairy and my women curvalicious, what yes, beard is sexy on men, yes I have two cats, yes they are crazy, yes I have 5 tattoos, yes I am disgustingly honest, why do you ask? X-D )

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I know... I KNOW!!!

I am not dead. Just.... Busy with this whole Christmas-thing and working. I am nervous as hell over Christmas this year for various reasons... More on that after Christmas. Promise! Although I do like working at the big city library, I do! :-D I got the task off answering inquires and comments on the library website the other day. That was FUN! Got to put up books on the maybe-we-might-order-these-if-enough-people-ask-for-them-list as well! Always fun that. *grin* People I work with are great to, and I can really feel that after all these years... Being a librarian is still my calling. :-) Awesomeness, awesomeness!

Taling off awesomeness... My RP-partner, omgcaffeine, who has been missing in action for a while is back on track.... Damn I missed her, but she and her son are fine, they were far away from the earthquake that shook NZ a while ago.... Thankfully no harm came to any off them. Is soooo good to talk to her again.

And apparently she thinks I am awesome... She wrote me a fic today. A really REALLY porny fic. With two of the characters we play around with, Bushido and Georg. Yep, that's the pairing. Can't get more odd then that. But damn, if they aren't hot together.... And we got a really interesting storyline going to that we explore and play around with. And now, tonight, she wrote a PWP story with them for me as a gift. And man. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I melted on the floor, people... If you want something different to read? GO READ THIS! Hell, go read it anyway, because it is really well written! She doesn't have many LJ-friends, so I just gonna pimp the hell out of this. It deserves it! GO! READ! NOW!

Ain't nothin' but MINE.
Georg/Bushido, AU, NC17, SEXY AS HELL, PEOPLE!!!

( 30 days of me meme... )


Day 05 – Your definition of love

My definition of love is quite simple. :-) And I mean true love. Being in love with someone I don't think needs explaining. ;-) Well... When we talk about love, I say the person you share your life with, and when you think about your future, you can't see the future without him/her. Because he/she is just... there. Supporting and loving. And you just can't imagine yourself without him/her in your life. That is how you know it is real love.

I hope that made sense. :-)

Day 06 – Your day

Since I didn't have any work today, my day started around 9am when I got out of bed. Kissing first hubby then my cats. Then I went to the bathroom to weigh myself (90.5 kilos, WOHOO!), shave (shut up) and take a shower. Then I made breakfast for myself (omellette) and while that finisihed off, I turned on the computer. Since my friend and RP-partner omgcaffeine was online, we started chatting and roleplaying. Ate my breakfast infront of the computer. ;-) Took a break to fix dinner and packed it in boxes, so peting73 can bring to work, and I can heat on up when I want it. Continued to RP with omgcaffeine while also watching two episodes of True Blood Season 3. Another break to talk to peting73 and wave him off. Back to RP with omgcaffeine. Lunch in the middle off it there somewhere.... In front of the computer. (Shut up.) When omgcaffeine went to bed at her end, I got off the computer and cleaned up in the apartment. Dusted all surfaces in the bedroom, hallway and kitchen. Also cleaned out the dishwasher (nasty!) so it would clean the dishes better. Discovers it is later then I think! (Crap!) Feeds cats, then myself. Late dinner! Relaxing infront of the computer. Watching another episode of True Blood Season 3. (So much crack! Werewolves OHOY!) After that I have been reading on LJ and since omgcaffeine came online, I've been doing some RP with her. :-)

Now I am off to bed! :-D

Still sick. BAH! Oh well. At least now I sneeze less, and instead I sound like a gawd damn witch since the cold germs have crawled down my throat. The good thing with this is that it means I'll be alright soon. Every time I have a cold it starts out in my nose, ears and head... crawls down my throat... and then it blows over. I'll not be going to work tomorrow either, but at this rate I should be able to go on Wednesday. Good thing!

So instead if sneezing, I am now coughing... and this is progress... *lol*

Oh well. Have spent the day on the couch and in front of the computer. I guess that has helped somewhat.

Have returned to Twitter and Plurk to, since I have been absent from there for quite some time. :-P I kinda missed it, I'll admit. You can follow me if you want. I am not that interesting though... :-P I am called kseenaa at both places.

Found this site today, and since I have a fan of the country Sweden and the band The Ark on my friends list... I am looking at you, right now kiakaha... I thought I'd share it. It is a really neat site. Found it when I was looking for recipes for traditional swedish food in english to share. There is a lot of information about Sweden there. And A LOT of recipes for traditional sweidsh food if your interested in that. :-)
Sweden.Se (Recipies here...)

And then, amazingly, there was a new Tokio Hotel TV episode today. Shockingly.
Tokio Hotel in Tokyo! (click continue to website to get to the vid.)

One word: Awesome. :-D

Been roleplaying all evening. Also damn awesome! :-D So despite my now soar throat... it has been a pretty good day. :-)

( Previous days... )

27. List your three favourite girl names, three favourite boy names, and your three favourite names for a pet.
Girls: Rebecca, Linnea, Freja, Saga....
Boys: Jack, Will or William, (can't think of a third right now)
Pets: Anything from mythology actually...

28. Your first celebrity crush.
That would be Michael Praed (playing Robin Hood in Robin of Sherwood) and Ray Winstone (playing Will Scarlet in the same series).

( Future days... )