KSena's Journal

I don’t even know where to start. Safe to say… It’s the end of this school term. So everything is just… Insane! Meaning I’m constantly stressed the hell out. :-/

Had a meeting with my boss not that long ago, and I told her it doesn’t feel like I’m doing a good job this school term. Feels like I’m constantly failing. I want to do so much… But I feel as if I’m not enough. That I’d be able to do so much more if only…. :-P

My boss, bless her, bascilly told me I’m idiot but in much nicer terms when she came to visit me. I think she noticed that I’d probably had had it by now.

And I have. Because end of school term does not mean less work for me. Oh no! Then it’s time for…

The summer reading program!!!!

*dies* *SIGH* And in my school and the schools around here it’s called The Summerbookclub! Meaning, the kids have to read six books, report them in in a special folder, and when the school starts again after summer, they get a little FIKA party with something sweet to eat and a gift (usually book or something book-related).

All well and good. It’s just that all of that needs to be prepared. The folders need to be ordered. All of that. Preferabley some time ahead. That hasn’t happened this year. This year everything is planned and ordred with VERY little time to spare. No time to spare, to be honest. :-P

And it pisses me the fuck off. I don’t feel that good when such things happen. I need things to be preplanned before hand. So I know I have what I need before I present the whole thing for the kids at the school. This? Is to freaking stressful.

And it’s all well and good on my colleagues schools. They only have kids from the age if six to the age of twelve. I have about twice the amount of kids/teens at my school and they run from the age of six to the age of 15… A WEEE bit of difference there. :-P

Ugh. :-P

Anyone tells me it is a relaxed job to work as a school-librarian I’m going to punch in the face!

And to top it off, I found out about the bomb at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, UK. WTH?!?!?! I just… I got no words for that.

So if you follow me elsewhere, you have to excuse my low mood these days. Work and world, I tell you…

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

So I did two hours at work today, just to get a feel of it. And man, oh man... I have so much annoyance. Mostly about my substitute.

I've talked to my boss about him before, and it's been clear tot he both of us that he does have mayor issues with my dear jewels aka hooligans in that school. I've learned how to deal with them, but it took time of course. I think they respect me a little, at least in the library, and do what I tell them to most of the time anyway.

But with my substitute, they don't do anything he tells them to. They just wreck havoc in the library. And tease him, being quite cruel about it. They've tried this trick on me to and it worked for a bit in the beginning, but I wasn't alone then. And once I've seen how they worked, I learned to ignore it.

My substitute can't ignore it. As it turned out, he's been bullied to in school, so he told me. And these jewels remind him of his bullies. I think that makes it impossible for him to deal, to keep order on the kids/teens in the library. So the school has had to get other staff to be there with him as soon as he has the library open, or it won't work. Chaos reigns in there otherwise. This, in turn, makes sure he can't have the library open very often. It hasn't been open very much at all.

So that's a damn shame, and really annoying. Every time I've spoken with him it's been more than clear he does not want to be there. And I think the kids have noticed.

At least that's my guess when I was there today, for only two hours. As soon as the kids/teens saw me they were all excited, telling me how much they missed me and that I HAD to come back to them! Etc, etc. A couple of the teens commented on me fact-checking Trump as well. So that was awesome. :-)

What I did notice, that was less awesome, was how my substitute withdrew from the tweens/teens. Not from the small kids, he was good with them.

And don't even let me get started on the state of the bookshelfs in the library... *face-palm*

So he has hardly had the library open at all. And it's still total chaos in the bookshelfs. All the book carriages was FILLED with books that he hadn't shelfed. So I went to it and started shelfing. Which also meant going through ALL the books in the shelfs, I soon noticed, because there was a lot of books not in the right place in the bookshelfs.

And when I pointed this out, a bit politely, he just said he didn't like shelfing, wasn't good at the alphabet and had enough keeping track of the kids/teens in the library. And when was in the information desk when the library was open, he focused on that and couldn't focus on anything else basically. Which was what he'd done when he'd been hired by the hour, only standing in the information desk and not shelf at all while doing that.

Dude. You hardly have the library open at all. So even if you focused on ONLY being in the information desk and keep cheek on the kids/teens while having the library open, you still have it closed SO MUCH, you should have PLENTY time shelfing even if you are slow, like you said yourself that you were.

Even during my first jobs I did BOTH information desk AND shelfing when I was hired by the hour or doing substitute work. FLEXIBILITY, GAWD!

I mean, I get it that doing like... four or five things at the same time like I do is not possible. Not saying that. But seriously...? The library is in chaos. The kids/teens really don't like him, and show it clearly. The teachers and the school management don't like him. He is being a headache for my boss.

It's just a bad situation all around. And these troubled kids/teens who feel like they don't deserve anything, because that's what it says in the local newspaper with regularity. Jewels/hooligans or not, they don't deserve such a bad situation.

And to top it off, when I was hugged and welcomed by a couple of the teens, they asked me if I was well enough to come back. Which I told them, I will if slowly. Immediately they turned to my substitute saying: "Bet that makes you glad, you can stop working here!" To which he responded. "Oh yes, it'll be calm and nice not being here."

What. The. Fuck? You don't say that to young teens in a school library where you fucking work??!?!?!! Especially not to these teens! GAH!!!

So fucking annoyed and pissed right now. :-/

End rant.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

I don't even know how to start this post, to be quite honest. I have such a hard time getting what I want to say into words.

Can I start with that I am quite horrified? And pissed off? Yeah, that works...

Because I am. It seems as if all them Trump-supporters haven’t ever seen a history book in their life. Because I see history repeating itself. And it scares the fuck out of me.

Little unimportant Sweden might not able to effect much of the US or world politics, but it sure as hell affects us! It effects the freaking WORLD! And the world is outraged.

But it also effects me on a more personal level. Because I have friends. Friends all over the world. In the USA to. Of various religions. Of various skin colours.

And their not safe. My friends, my wonderful friends from one of the biggest countries in the world, biggest and one of the most developed... are not safe.

I’ll repeat that.

Friends that I talk to each day nearly are not safe.

And rage and swear over it. I cry and feel hopeless. And there’s nothing I can do. I am stuck here in Sweden, safe and sound mind, but still.

Ugh.

I still have a hard time putting it into words.

So I’ll link to this blog that put it into words for me. Absolutely perfectly.

One more time...

So if you are a Trump supporter? Or think he makes sense? You can just get the flying fuck out of my life!!!

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.