Writer's Block: More than words

[kseenaa]

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I nearly never do these Writers block thingies, but hey.... Since everyone has posted such BRILLIANT songs in there LJ's lately, I figured I would to.

And this song means so damn much to me, you have no idea. It is not that I am a huge fan of Christina Aguilera. I am not. She got a brilliant voice, but so does many other singers. And I like some of her other songs, for sure. I like music. Period. But this song? First time I heard it almost broke down crying. Because it really spoke to me, you know? It still does. Why? Because I was really badly bullied for 7 or 8 years in school. It started when I was just 8 years old. I can still remember that day. Thats 25 years ago.... And always for how I locked. How fat I was. How disgusting I was. That I shouldn't exist.... Thank gawd I meet spicehobbit when we were 13. But that still leaves scars, you know. Scars I at times fight with to this day.

So this song... Beautiful... It is filling me with such joy, happiness and hope every time I hear it, you have no idea. I love it. I adore it. And I can't get enough of it.

So... Yeah. With that, I give you Christina Augileras song Beautiful. Listen to it. Listen to every fucking word. Look at every fucking image in the music vid. Look. Listen. And think twice.

"#ViolenceIsViolence: Domestic abuse advert Mankind" (Watch on YouTube)

Christina Aguilera - Beautiful (Official Music Video) - The top video clips of the week are here

Comments

[shapinglight]

I'm so sorry you were bullied at school. Children can be so horribly cruel.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yeah.... Kids can be really, really cruel. It was a snowball thing with me. Once it started, it just got worse, and worse... I can't even begin to say how much spicehobbit has meant to me and my sanity in it all. And books. All them books I escaped to when I was a kid. I like to think I got stronger for it, in a way to. I hope so at least.

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

I'm completely with you. The first time I heard this song, it touched me. The first time I saw the video, I bawled. All for the same reason as you. The scars are huge and mostly still pretty tender but oh yeah, this song. <3

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

But at least they are scars, and not open wounds. I am proud of myself today. And have turned my experiences into a sort of strength. The scars will always be there, of course. But I can live with them today. :-) This song just reminds me that, yes. It is possible to stand up and be strong despite everything. And I have done just that. :-)

[erinmar13.livejournal.com]

definitely one of the most potent songs lyrically. and it doesn't hurt that her voice is FUCKING FANTASTIC.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Indeed. She is definitely doing the lyrics justice, I'd say. Fucking fantastic, as you put it. Every time I hear it, I get a shiver running down my spine. Because this song shows that it is indeed possible to stand up strong, no matter what. I did that. It took me so, so long... But there are no open wounds any more. Just scars. That has made me strong. And I can live with that. :-)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

It should speak to you to, this song. Because you are, you know. Beautiful. No matter what they say...

I have picked myself up. It took time though. I soon have my 33e birthday. And it is just in these last few years after I moved to this city that I have really felt my strength growing. So yes. I have turned into a strong woman, true. But it took so, so long to get there. This song just shows me that it is possible. Anyone can do it. I'll always live with the memories, of course.... the scars. But they are scars now. Not open wounds. And I am proud of my self for the fact I have gotten that far in my life. :-)

[demon-kyo.livejournal.com]

<3 Oh bb girl, I can't imagine what you went through. I know how mean kids can be, but thank god life isn't like that after school or we'd all go off the deep end. You are beautiful and I think you are such a wonderful woman and in the end, that's what matters - your friends and your family love you.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

That icon never fails to put a smile on my face. :-) Just wanted to say that.

Indeed they do. Being bullied seems to be a curse in my family... Both my mom and father was to in school. My brother not to badly, gladly. But yes. I have a HUGE and crazy extended family, and I have always felt support and love from them. That have always helped me. And after school was over, that helped me heal to. And I include spicehobbit in that to, since really... She is like a sister to me. And have always supported me and helped me. We are the same age, so she was there, in school, and saw it all. She knows. That helps. Strangely. :-) Those years left some really harsh scars on me, that you can't see.... But at least they are not open wounds any more. I am proud of myself and strong today. But it has taken so, so long to get there... I am soon 33, and it is only in these last few years when I have moved to the city where I live today that I really feel I have found my strength. :-) *hugs*

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

Yeah I wasn't so sure what her deal was, because when she first came out she was this pop sensation and then all of a sudden she became this really slutty looking figure. But I think I had always liked her and when this song came out, I liked her even more.

Kids can be so mean. I got bullied in middle school I think, and it was terrible- but nowadays it's even worse if that's possible. Nowadays it extends to the internet, and text messaging, and facebook, and stuff. At least when we were kids we could go home and escape to books and best friends but in the era of the internet it follows those kids home. :(

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is very true. Bullying can be really mean today. :-/ There are good things with the internet, for sure, but that part is really really bad. :-/ I am glad it wasn't like that when I was a kid. Its like a teacher at the school where I worked at the library said... Things have gone so so much harsher these days. Kids has turned harder around the edges as it were....

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

i'm sure people thought that in our day and age too though. still though... the suicide rate due to bullying is way up. and that's one of the most horrible things i could imagine.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes... :-/ It is. It really really is. *hugs*