KSena's Journal

OK. So I'm going to try and write this post that I've been trying to write for days. No joke. I didn't know how to start or how to word this, so bare with me. I have a lot of feelings.

I've been following Tokio Hotel since 2009. That's when I discovered them and fell headfirst into the fandom. Since then they've grown and changed A LOT. As they should! The boys in this band were SO YOUNG when they started out, and you're not the same person now that you were when you were 15, 16 and 17 years old. 12 years ago. So of course that would be reflected in their music!

And this, that they were so young starting out and you can really hear in their music how they grow up, test things and develop... that's what I think is so cool with this band! And I LOVE how far they've come musiclly and how they've developed further into electronic music. It's really their own sound, and I do think that's cool! Even if I sure liked the more rock music they did as young as well. For sure!

But. And here's a mayor but... This new album? Really a step back for them in my eyes. (Or ears?) I was so so excited when their new album was going to be released! Dream Machine! Sounded great! And they were releasing their tour before their album, which was odd maybe, but I bought both a regular ticket and a VIP one, because hell... I've been following them for 8 years at this point! (Oh gawd....) I pre-ordered the album to, and had only heard the two songs they'd released with music-videos on their website and YouTube channel. And those two songs gave me red flags already... I didn't like them much. :-/ Something New didn't really go anywhere... It just went on and on and I waited for a refrain or something, but nothing. A bit odd a piece of music. What If was better, and I loved the music-video for that one! But none of them got even close to the music-videos and songs that were released for Kings Of Suburbia, the album they released before Dream Machine.

And the problem with the song What If is something that goes through the entire album for me. I can't really hear when one song ends and the next begins! The only upbeat song on the album that is moderatly catchy is What If. The other songs is very low key, there's no other upbeat song. This is not an album that makes you happy or smile one second and then get all the feels the next, like Kings of Suburbia does.

Yes, I will compare this with Kings of Suburbia, because both of these albums have a very modern electronic feel to them which makes them very similar in that regard to me.

And I want to stress one thing. I DO NOT MIND THAT THEY'VE GONE MORE ELECTRONIC!!! I know a lot of fans dislike the direction the band has taken their music, but I don't at all. It's just this album that irks me.

There's just no upbeat song on this album, no happy song or playful song. Nothing like that at all. The whole album is just like a great big downer. And I have to wonder why? Why are the songs so similar to each other? Why is everything so sad and blue?

Let's not forget that it's 10 songs on this album. If you look at their previous albums, I do believe this is the shortest one. Why? It's well produced, they clearly show they know what the hell they do in a studio and with various music-instruments. But still. Why the blue mood? Why fewer songs? And why go on a tour with an album with fewer songs than any of their previous albums?

I just can't get my head around it.

One thing is for sure though, my heart plummeted when I listened to this album the first time. I was so, so, so disappointed. Unlike when I listened to Kings of Suburbia the first time and I giggled and danced in my seat, loving near to every song on that album. (Still do.) Both just as electronic, but oh so very different. And not in a good way.

Seriously, Tokio Hotel? What are you doing? And why? :-/

I don't know... This post is all over the place. I just wanted to somehow try to get my feelings down in writing. I'm seriously nervous about going to the concert in Stockholm now. Of course I'm nervous about meeting them to, but mostly I'm nervous that I won't enjoy their show or how the music sounds like live. :-/

One thing's for sure. This is the LAST TIME I buy one of their albums blind. Or a concert ticket blind. I'll listen to the music first, one way or another. I do not want to feel this disappointed again.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

So I did two hours at work today, just to get a feel of it. And man, oh man... I have so much annoyance. Mostly about my substitute.

I've talked to my boss about him before, and it's been clear tot he both of us that he does have mayor issues with my dear jewels aka hooligans in that school. I've learned how to deal with them, but it took time of course. I think they respect me a little, at least in the library, and do what I tell them to most of the time anyway.

But with my substitute, they don't do anything he tells them to. They just wreck havoc in the library. And tease him, being quite cruel about it. They've tried this trick on me to and it worked for a bit in the beginning, but I wasn't alone then. And once I've seen how they worked, I learned to ignore it.

My substitute can't ignore it. As it turned out, he's been bullied to in school, so he told me. And these jewels remind him of his bullies. I think that makes it impossible for him to deal, to keep order on the kids/teens in the library. So the school has had to get other staff to be there with him as soon as he has the library open, or it won't work. Chaos reigns in there otherwise. This, in turn, makes sure he can't have the library open very often. It hasn't been open very much at all.

So that's a damn shame, and really annoying. Every time I've spoken with him it's been more than clear he does not want to be there. And I think the kids have noticed.

At least that's my guess when I was there today, for only two hours. As soon as the kids/teens saw me they were all excited, telling me how much they missed me and that I HAD to come back to them! Etc, etc. A couple of the teens commented on me fact-checking Trump as well. So that was awesome. :-)

What I did notice, that was less awesome, was how my substitute withdrew from the tweens/teens. Not from the small kids, he was good with them.

And don't even let me get started on the state of the bookshelfs in the library... *face-palm*

So he has hardly had the library open at all. And it's still total chaos in the bookshelfs. All the book carriages was FILLED with books that he hadn't shelfed. So I went to it and started shelfing. Which also meant going through ALL the books in the shelfs, I soon noticed, because there was a lot of books not in the right place in the bookshelfs.

And when I pointed this out, a bit politely, he just said he didn't like shelfing, wasn't good at the alphabet and had enough keeping track of the kids/teens in the library. And when was in the information desk when the library was open, he focused on that and couldn't focus on anything else basically. Which was what he'd done when he'd been hired by the hour, only standing in the information desk and not shelf at all while doing that.

Dude. You hardly have the library open at all. So even if you focused on ONLY being in the information desk and keep cheek on the kids/teens while having the library open, you still have it closed SO MUCH, you should have PLENTY time shelfing even if you are slow, like you said yourself that you were.

Even during my first jobs I did BOTH information desk AND shelfing when I was hired by the hour or doing substitute work. FLEXIBILITY, GAWD!

I mean, I get it that doing like... four or five things at the same time like I do is not possible. Not saying that. But seriously...? The library is in chaos. The kids/teens really don't like him, and show it clearly. The teachers and the school management don't like him. He is being a headache for my boss.

It's just a bad situation all around. And these troubled kids/teens who feel like they don't deserve anything, because that's what it says in the local newspaper with regularity. Jewels/hooligans or not, they don't deserve such a bad situation.

And to top it off, when I was hugged and welcomed by a couple of the teens, they asked me if I was well enough to come back. Which I told them, I will if slowly. Immediately they turned to my substitute saying: "Bet that makes you glad, you can stop working here!" To which he responded. "Oh yes, it'll be calm and nice not being here."

What. The. Fuck? You don't say that to young teens in a school library where you fucking work??!?!?!! Especially not to these teens! GAH!!!

So fucking annoyed and pissed right now. :-/

End rant.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.