A pimp/spam post about 50 Shades of Grey... Trigger warning for discussions and hints about abuse!

[kseenaa]

Figured it was time for another pimp-post or whatever you wanna call them. There's just to many fun stuff to look at online, and then I feel the urge to share it. Sure, I retweet or replurk as well, but to collect it in one big post just appeals to me. Bear with me.

Lately, since it's had it's opening (on Valentines Day, wth?) I've seen a lot of stuff and read a lot of stuff about 50 Shades of Grey, the infamous Twilight fanfic... (in case you didn't know it was a Twilight fanfic...)

And OK, I admit. I read the first book. And yes, I do enjoy some BDSM in the bedroom. So hence it made me curious. But what I read? That was NOT BDSM! Oh HELL to the no! That was abuse. Plain and simple. :-/

So ever since I've been following the twitter account @50shadesabuse. Mostly I jus feel sorry for those who have gone through emotional abuse and is meet with this fail-tastic book that makes their experience into romance... *shakes head*

Prepare for shitload of links about 50 Shades of Grey Fail Abuse.... :-P

This is a short and to the point piece from The Independent UK which... I like because it IS to the point AND has actually lines from the book in the text/graphics. And no, they aren't made up. They ARE from the book.

Fifty Shades of Grey: It doesn't take a genius to realise that Christian Grey is a domestic abuser

This was absolutly brilliant. Because like it or not, 50 Shades of Grey does have fans. A shitload of them. And they are defending book and movie. It's easy to let the blood run hot in such a discussion, especialy if you or a close one to you have experienced mental abuse. So this is a brilliant piece to go to for advice on HOW to take the discussion with them fans. Calmly. Rational. And showing the flaw in their logic.

Let’s talk about 50 Shades in a calm and rational way

And this? This was also interesting. I'd like to know how many you got right if you haven't read the books... I think that would be quite interesting to know. ;-) Care to share?

Can You Tell The Difference Between Christian Grey And A Serial Killer?

And this? This just disturbed me. I mean, seriously? WTH? If you run into a guy like this... RUUUUN!!! Geezes... The poor girl in the interview both disturbed me and made me so achingly sad for her... :-/

Real-Life Christian Grey Claims To Have 'Converted' 350 Women To BDSM

This is one of the best reviews I've read. Because the reviewer walked into the movie theaters knowing NOTHING about 50 Shades of Grey, and the shock after watching it is so so so obvious in her review. And people think this is romance... WTH?

Rosie Reviews: Fifty Shades of Grey - Rosie Waterland expected the whole movie to be a bit of a cheesy laugh. Instead she walked out of the cinema on the verge of tears.

This is a professional morning show host giving a review of 50 Shades of Grey, and... she isn't holding back, put it that way. DAMN she's mean! X-D I kinda love it! And she brings up valid points to. :-)

These are so so so hilarious! Sometimes you can find true gold on Imgur. X-D And the even more hilarious thing is that the flaws pointed out in these reviews, and highlighted in an image... are things that ACTUALLY happen in the books! Oh, good lord... X-D

1 star reviews of 50 Shades of Grey on

One might think what with the movie coming up that the actors would be all over the place playing it up to promote the movie, right? Right? Nooooo!!! X-D OH SO WRONG! I guess they're trying, but they just look uncomfortable together! And as rumors go, apparently they had to reshoot the sex-scenes since they were far from hot. HA HA HA HA!!! X-D I should feel sorry for them, I really should... But they signed up for it. :-D

50 Shades of [Sigh]: The Disastrous 50 Shades of Grey Press Tour

This is a really good piece by the people behind the mentioned twitter account. They list various reasons why the books can be dagnerous and also what Christian does in the books. What makes him an abusive man and why is it dangerous to make that look romantic.

The powerful effect fiction can have on reality

This piece is really interesting because it looks at the interactions between Ana and Christian in 50 Shades through the law. Legally, who should be in the handcuffs? Really?

Fifty Shades Of Grey: Top barrister on whether Christian should be the one in handcuffs

Three BDSM-enthusiasts view on 50 Shades of Grey. They to don't hold any punches, put it that way...

Fifty Shades of Grey: what BDSM enthusiasts think

When a blog called Everyday Victim Blaming writes a post about 50 Shades of Grey and is less than kind about it? You know something is seriously wrong..

Domestic Violence in 50 Shades of Grey

The site Rape Crisis also makes a post talking about the dangersou with 50 Shades of Grey should tell you lot something. And it's a really good piece to, going through the whole books. It's really eyeopening.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" Saviour of relationships or abusers handbook?

Yet another piece discussing how dangerous men like Christian Grey is. The amount of articles, blogg posts, protests at screenings should tell you something. So yeah, it's important to spread this I feel.

A Charming Psycho Is Still A Psycho: Why 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Is Sending Women The Wrong Message

Also, whoever did this, THANK YOU SO MUCH for ruining my childhood! FUCK! Even Frozen who I have to watch several times a week what with Alexandra loving it. GAWD DAMMIT!

50 Shades of Disney . . . OMG

TLDR, if you don't wanna check all the above, than at least check out this vid:

This vid, one of my favorites I've seen actually, combines the brilliant speech that the US President, Barak Obama, held aginst abuse towards women. It combines his speech with cuts from the movie... that interestingly enough fits so very very well with the speech... while trying to make it look hot. URGH! But yeah, if you don't have the energy to check ANY other link, than this is it. Really.

And now I will shut up about the subject. At least for a long time ahead. Unless you follow me on Twitter, that is... :-P

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Comments

[oo-fifi-oo.livejournal.com]

I didn't have the time to read all the articles but I 100% agree that the books and the movie are bad for people to see and set a bad example of what a BDSM relationship is. I'm trying to defend that point of view online but most people just see it as a fun/kinky way to spend an evening with friends and don't see what consequences this could have on some women, mostly the youngest ones... :(

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't get why people can't see the flaw in their logic? It's plain as day when you see it. It's abuse. If my best friend hadn't challenged me to finish it, I wouldn't have. She bought the book for me (paperback). One for her and one for me and then we started the same day and whoever finished last would buy dinner for the one that finished first. A good reading challenge! But holy hell, we both STRUGGLED to finish it since it was that bad.

I mean, Twilight was bad. But I could laugh at Twilight. And there were a character that was moderately good (that SMeyer didn't do anything with) and some interesting myth (again, that SMeyer didn't do anything with), but 50Shades? There's NOTHING that I can laugh at or even find moderately amusing. :-/ I do NOT get women that defend it!

If you want some help in discussing 50Shades with fans, than this article is the best one:
Let’s talk about 50 Shades in a calm and rational way (http://jennytrout.com/?p=934)

It gives you ammunition when they come dragging their flawed logic. :-P

[oo-fifi-oo.livejournal.com]

Same for me. It was a gift and I was like WHY?!? but still red the first one. I never struggled that much with a book honestly. Is SO BAD the writting, the characters, the situations...everything is bad.
I wasn't willing to pay to know what's next but I never stopped a book series after this one. I downloaded book 2 & 3 but could not read past book 2. I already have so little time to read so I don't want to lose it by reading this shitty book.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I seriously considered letting my cats piss on it and then burn it to the ground... But my best friend figured we should do a more dramatic thing when we eventually have our dinner date. Which, she owes me. Since I finished it first. ;-)

It IS the worst book I've ever read. Pushed Twilight of that throne.

[aatln.livejournal.com]

Ha! I made it through the first half of chapter one! High five! While everyone else was gushing about the book on my facebook page and in my personal life, I still can't bring myself to read the poorly written piece. I've read fanfiction written better than 50 shades, but that's just my little ole opinion. :)

What has gone wrong with our world? I mean really?

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

At first my best friend wanted to challenge me to read all three... But when we'd both finished the first one, we mutually agreed that we would not torture ourselves with reading the other two... :-P

It's not just poorly written, it's partly copying another Twilight-fanfic I found out... and then there's all the abuse-issues it brings to light. It's just unbelievable it has gotten so huge.

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

oops. that anonymous comment just now was me, obviously. sorry i'm not sure why i wasn't logged in!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

You're seriously coming to Sweden? OMG! Ha ha ha! :-D That's wonderful!

And now you've stumped me. I'm not an outdoorsy person. X-D *lol* BUT! On the other hand, I had another online friend visit last year, from Great Britain, and she was so so fascinated how green it was here in this country, how much nature there was everywhere. It's in the cities to. I mean, if I've understood in New York, you got Central Park and... that's it for green nature in New York? Here you got little parks, trees and stuff everywhere. In most cities. Stockholm is known as the blue city, since it has SOOOO much water smack in the middle of the city. You can FISH in the middle of Stockholm if you'd like, which is the biggest city of Sweden. Granted, not much to a New Yorker, but still. :-) (And yes, the fish is eatable.) We have A LOT of history here in Sweden and we're proud of it to. So if you're into that, I'd recommend checking out the museums of Stockholm. The best museums are in that city, to be honest. (My favorite is the Museum of Medieval Stockholm (http://www.medeltidsmuseet.stockholm.se/in-english/), to be honest. I'm a medieval geek.) And then there's the The Royal Palace (http://www.kungahuset.se/royalcourt/visittheroyalpalaces.4.396160511584257f21800033.html), of course. Where the Royal Family ACTUALLY live. :-) They have more than one palace, but the one in Stockholm is the main one. I like our Royal Family. They are very approachable for being royals. :-) And hey, Crown Princess Victoria married her personal trainer, who is now a royal prince, Prince Daniel. ;-) Fairy-tale material right there!

Feels like I'm just babbling. I actually took my British friend to visit my mother and, if she can make it she wants to visit this summer again and we'll visit my brother (who seriously lives smack in the middle of nowhere in the midst of nature). So there's that.

To travel to visit me in Borås (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bor%C3%A5s), the easiest thing to do is go by train. Honestly. And you'll see more nature that way. I find traveling by train is very relaxing. It takes 4-5 hours at most to get here from Stockholm, I think. If you go by plane, I'd pick you up at Landvetter right outside of Gothenburg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothenburg), which is the closest airport. Since that is the easiest. :-)


When it comes to Northern Lights, I have to disappoint you, I'm afraid. Sweden is a very elongated country. To see the northern lights you'd have to be way WAY north in Sweden, we're talking close to or on the other side of the polar circle. And in winter, not summer. Seeing Northern Lights is very very hard during summer. If you can see them at all. And hey, way north in the country if so. :-)

Parks like Yosemite we do have here and there, if smaller. It's a lot ancient forest here though, no open areas where you can see for miles. Most of Sweden is dense forest, expect the south parts where I live where there's mostly farm-country. :-) My uncle, who lives close to my brother, has a small farm. And my brother is working at a bigger one (and we're not talking US-big, fair warning. ;-) ). Just look at a map of only Sweden and you'll see that most cites are in the southern parts and then there's more and more forest and less and less cities the more north you get. :-) WAY north we have our own "natives" or "indians", the Sami people (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sami_people). But they're WAY north. :-)

I don't even know what else to write. X-D Best is to just throw questions at me, and I'll see what to answer. :-D

*HUGS*

peting73 wanted to add that nature? WAAAAY north. *lol* Sarek National Park (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarek_National_Park) is bigger than Yosemite, he thinks. Again, nature? WAAAAY north. *lol* But there you have the biggest park in Sweden. And yes, you can hike right through it if you like.

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

just realized that i never thanked you for this amazing post. i've used it to plan a lot of our trip!! we are OFFICIALLY booking today, so i will OFFICIALLY meet you in real life in about a month and a half. i cannot even handle how excited i am right now. <3 <3 <3

ps- am i screwed as a vegetarian? you know all about how i suffered down south. i do not mind living off of coffee and pie and sweets for the whole time i'm down there but i'd like to be prepared this time! in modern times swedish people know/understand vegetarianism right? i will not be offending anyone?

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

also: if it happens to be a convenient time, i'd love to go meet your mom finally and your brother! i think seeing a small farm in sweden would be awesome. but only, of course, if it is at a convenient time for you guys. i'm just so delighted to meet alexandra and petting (oh yeah- and you) that whatever else we do will be an added bonus ;)

you know, it might also be creepy, since i know your family a lot better than they know me.... :\\\\

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I just hope to gawd you are not coming the 5th of June, because I have just bought an expensive ticket to go see Mötley Crüe at Sweden Rock Festival then. o.O

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

To add to the previous comment though, I am... BEYOND excited to finally get to give you a crushing hug and just hold you and tell you have awesome you are in person! :-D

I am still nervous as shit because what can little Sweden offer a New Yorker who has traveled the world? o.O Not very much, I'm afraid. I am tickled you wanna meet my family though. :-D I'm sure they'll want to as well! My brother speaks english very well, my mother not so much. She understands it well, but she has trouble talking it.

And no, you wouldn't be a creep. :-) I talk very openly about my habits online (yes, even the fact I read fanfic of the porny kind). So they know I have friends all over the world that I speak with frequently and are close to. :-)

I still can't believe you're actually coming here. o.O It'll take a few days for that to sink in, I think. :-D

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

sorry it took me so long to answer this, I'M SO EXCITED TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please don't worry about being nervous!! remember that one of my favorite places I've ever been was meiringen, that sleepy farming town in sweden where everything shut down at 630 pm!! your life sounds wonderful and awesome and i can't wait to be a small part of it! i'm going to try to learn basic swedish on the plane there although i can't promise i'll even be able to pronounce any words. since i'm on on surgery right now and i have the PE part of my boards in two weeks i feel torn in all directions. also, i would really love to visit a library or two that you work at and maybe watch you do a program if at all possible :)

right now the only thing we have done is booked into stockholm on april 30th (arriving may 1st). then we fly out of gothenburg on may 10th. we don't know what we're doing in the middle yet. i need a few hours where i just go to the bookstore and read about sweden. i heard about day trips from stockholm to malmo sweden, and i heard about hopping around the archipelago, and all sorts of cool stuff like that- i just need to sort out what we should do and what we'll have time to do. if there's a good time for us to come to boras, let us know!! we'll be there of course but we'd rather be there at a time that's especially convenient for you :)

will i be okay as a vegetarian?

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes and yes. You won't have to worry about being vegetarian. If you eat eggs, cheese and such, you'll be fine. Even if you skip the eggs. Vegetarianism is quite common here. Most restaurants have a vegetarian menu or vegetarian options on their regular menu. Also, one of peting73's oldest friends is a vegetarian (eating eggs, cheese and such...) so he's been cooking for her quite a few times. :-) So relax!

Also, that would be Switzerland, dear. Not Sweden. I knew a lot of US-people mixed our countries up, but... X-D *amused*

Good to hear you won't be bored! If you end up here in Borås on a weekend, I'll be off work and can hang out with you! :-D WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO DO, YOU KNOW!!!

I've been on sick-leave now for 3 months. I start to work in 2 weeks or so, and I am not sure in what library or with what yet. o.O I might be moved to another library actually. Which work-wise I don't mind. In fact, it could be very interesting. It's just a bit more of a commuting distance since it's not next doors like the one I used to work at. But I think it will work out. I might even get to use the car and peting73 might be going with his workmate instead, so hopefully that will work out as well. :-) Still, I wouldn't work weekends. ;-)

So you'll come here in May? That's AWESOME! Sweden is very pretty during spring and summer. :-D But beware. Sometimes spring gets a hiccup and we get RAAAAAAIIIINS! X-D So an umbrella would be good to pack, just in case. ;-) We have a very nice park in the middle of the city here, although it's NOTHING like Central Park, obviously. :-) It has some historic buildings though how people used to live here before it became a city. If you want I could find some links for you about things to do in Borås while you're here? :-)