A bully mom...

[kseenaa]

peting73 is off work this week since he has his birthday tomorrow (14th) so he is home with me and Alexandra. :-) It is wonderful getting some help with her and such. Not to mention just to have him home and him BEING there is great.

Tomorrow it is me making dinner, since he has his birthday and all. :-)

He has looked forward to this week to, since he has decided to come with me and Alexandra to the few activities we do during the week. He is very very involved with Alexandra, and we share as much as possible when it comes to caring for her. Didn't plan that, it just happened and worked for us.

Anyhow!

So today was the third meeting of that parenting group that I am sure I've mentioned... And dude... DUDE!

It's not so much the pink brigade thing that really starts to bother me, oh no...

It's one of the moms...

See, I got bad vibes from her at the first meeting. And she just keeps proving me right.

She is a bully and a know-it-all. I'll call her Bitch-mom. All the babies in the parenting group are the same age, sorta. Born from late July to early September. So is hers, but this is her third child. Off all off us it is her that has older kids, and one other mom that has one kid earlier. The rest of us, 6 more moms (including me), are first time mothers.

And EVERY SINGLE TIME, she has to point this out. That it is her third kid, so OF COURSE she knows what to do and how to do and OF COURSE she is right! And today really took the cake.

See, there's another mom coming to join us in the group, but she couldn't today, and since she got our emails she sent an email to tell us so (very nice of her!). I replyed all and Bitch-moms email showed as not working. OK, so I figued I'd ask her if I'd gotten it wrongly.

So I did today. She hardly acknowledged my existence, so I had to ask more then once... And before leaving today, I figured I'd aks the other moms what kind of baby carrier they use, since I haven't been that happy with my Baby Björn one and have done some internet-research... I am a internet-geek, so of coure I turn to the internet to do research... which she promptly shot down saying that doing that is stupid and one shouldn't trust everything one reads anyway, you know... Promptly hinting at me being an idiot, because you know... I have to be, not being a "normal" mom... Woman, I am not the only one wearing nail polish, but I guess since you have a french manicure done in a salon! Not to mention you buy new prams for all your kids and new toys and pretty clothes and go to pilates with your kids and....

GAH!

And the interesting thing is, the other moms? They just nod and agree and think she is the best thing ever on the planet and everything she says is gold... Typical yes-sayers... Except one. But she is just like me, sitting there since we sorta have to.

peting73s reaction when leaving: "Why hasn't anyone told her to shut the fuck up already? I am sorry you have to go there..." and gave me a hug. X-D

Oh well... Next meeting as at the lil library where I've worked the most and where I know all the librarians and they really like me... So fuck you! GAH!

Not many more meetings with this group, thankfully... The idea with these parenting groups at the Child Welfare Centers are that you are supposed to get connections so that you get to know other moms and your kids can play with one another as they grow up...

Yeah... No... Like that's ever going to happen...

We go to another activity, me and Alexandra, called Öppna Förskolan/Open Preschool where they have activites for kids 0-5 years old. :-) They even have special hours for kids 0-1 years old, so that's the time we usually go. I bet Alexandra and me will meet MUCH nicer parents and kids there... Just saying. :-P

Talking about kids...

How EPIC ain't this Halloween costume?!?!!! Geek-parent alert! :-D


"I WILL kick your ass! With cuteness..." (Clickable for slightly bigger...)

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Comments

[steinsgrrl.livejournal.com]

Third child or not, someone should remind little miss bitch mom that not all babies are the same. Her third is not even the same as her first, so yours certainly isn't going to be the same, either.

Is there a moderator who runs this group? Perhaps you can appeal to her to help keep the snarky comments in line. Not everyone is going to be as confident as bitch mom, and I bet there is more than one lady there who is too nervous to ask a question for fear of getting shot down or feeling like she's dumb from this bitch.

Otherwise, you know, if it was me, whenever bitch mom would make a nasty or demeaning comment like that to me, I'd look at her for a moment so she knows I heard her, then turn and talk to someone else. To me, it sort of implies her comment doesn't deserve a response and you're ignoring her. I bet it will piss her right off. ;)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there are two moderators in the group, two nurses no less. And I've pointed it out to them, but since Miss Bitch wraps her snark in honey, she was all surprised and said she hadn't noticed and she thought Miss Bitch was quite nice...

It's a bit like in school when I was bullied by people acting like her. They wrap their poison in honey, and then it can't be seen... :-/ At least not by all. Just those that it's supposed to sting, like me and the other mom that no one talks to either.

I tried to get a word in, but alas... I do not exist much in her world, so as soon as I say anything (and I do! often!), it's like my words hit a wall and fall to the floor... unheard (except by the nurse, of course). :-/ It sucks.

[velociraptorx.livejournal.com]

I forgot to comment on your last post, but I think the carried where the child is sitting and not dangling down looks SO much more comfortable! I didn't use a carrier with V, so I'm not sure from personal experience, just from the looks of it!

There are ALWAYS those parents who think they know best. I even have my moments where I think I know the answers, but I don't. Everyone is raising their children different, doesn't make one parent better than another and every child is different, even among the same parents. V doesn't need spankings or anything like that as a punishment, some kdis do [I don't agree with it, but I'm not their parent]. I know it's hard but I'd just let it roll off your back with her. I got a lot of hell for formula feeding V and I wasn't a typical mom either. Fuck it, V is doing amazing because I've taken the time with her to make sure she did amazing. At least those meetings are almost over and you can find other things where you actually enjoy going!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Pretty much my feeling to. I've used my Baby Björn carrier quite a bit, but it doesn't feel good with Alexandra just dangling like that, you know? :-P I've found a girl seeling a used Manduco one, and she'll sell it to me. :-) Can't wait to get it here! :-D

Spankings are actually forbidden by law here in Sweden. You can end up in jail for it. So I would hope even Miss Bitch don't do that. :-P

And you are right. :-) Only two more of them meetings, and then I won't have to see Miss Bitchmom ever again! :-D

[snowstormskies.livejournal.com]

Na'aww that costume is so awesome! Kid's gonna have an awesome set of stories to tell when they grow up.

About bitch-mom. Face up to her. Don't be a bitch back, but stand your ground and put your point across. She's used to bulldozing over other new mothers, and saying stuff to get her own way so put your foot down and say, "Well, I'd like to get a word in edgeways. I researched this, and found out this, and I want to ask what /other/ people think." It sounds really bitchy, but sometimes, you just have to call them out on it. It might be that she's just used to being the top dog in the room, and being called on it is enough to stop it.

I'm not trying to advocate starting a fight, but just be your ususal honest self and cut it off at the knees. If she gets bitchy about it, say that you are a first time mother, but you are not fourteen and completely ignorant.

If she carries on, then say "Fine. If that's how you want to take it, that's okay. But I'm not standing here to be told I'm useless or weird for doing my research."

She's probably used to hanging out with new mothers who fawn over her for new information. It does make me wonder - why is she there, if she's a third time mom? Are these things mandatory? Or is it like a social thing as well? /confused.

I hope the other meetings are okay. Maybe you'd like to talk to the other new mom, and ask if she'd like to come along if she's still getting blindsided by Mrs Bitch?

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

That costume put a HUGE grin on my face to... :-D SOOOO Awesome!

I do try to stand my ground against Miss Bitchmom... It's hard though, since every time I do say anything (and I do talk! often!) my words just fall flat to the floor, unheard. :-/ I get no response from her or any other moms. Not even the other mom that no one talks to. And apparently researching online is not cool. o.O According to them, that is. Because you can't trust anything online. Well, yeah. You have to do your homework and not trust just one website/community/forum. But apparently they thought I was an idiot who didn't know anything and just... *sigh* I am a librarian, for FUCKS SAKE! I know how to do research!

And yeah, them parenting groups are mandatory. :-/ Well, you can call and say you don't wanna come, but... usually they are more or less mandatory.

Only two more meetings and then there will be no more Miss Bitchmom!

The other mom who no one talks to... Well, I've tried to talk to her and such, but I get not much response back, I am afraid. :-/ To bad really.

[shapinglight]

:sigh: There's always one. In my case, she was racist as well. ;(

And peting73 is only 14? You baby snatcher, you.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

A racist? Oh that must have been fuuuun... *irony*

HA HA HA! No, he's birthday is the 14th! X-D

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

Some people... Gaah. But you stand your ground. You have enough common sense to know how to be a good mom. And by this post, not listening to her is a good start... *hugs*

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Oh, trust me. I am so not listening to her. She just pisses me off everytime. And the WORST thing is, she coats all she says in honey... so the nurses moderating the groups misses it all... :-/ GAH! I hate HATE HATE people like that!

Also, you know us librarians... OF COURSE we don't know how to do research online, right? I was shoot down like you wouldn't believe when I said I'd done research on baby carriers online... :-/ *still annoyed*

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

She sounds like the kind of person who has no idea what us librarians actually DO. You know the type, right? Thinks all we do is recommend non-fiction books to library patrons (Strindberg, of course! All about the classics, here!) and stamp due dates in the books...

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

OH YES! I do so very well know the type... When working, you pretty much run into them daily. :-/ *hates on Strindberg*

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Although I should probably read Strindberg before dissing him entirely... Haven't managed to finish a book by him yet.

Also, I did mean fiction, not non-fiction... (How does one say "hjärnsläpp" in English? *grins*)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Hjärnsläpp = Brainfart. X-D But I got what you meant. ;-) I read The Red Room as a comic. It was still bloody boring and stupid. :-P

[zeph317toho.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's ridiculous! That mother just reminds me that some bullies never grow out of it, they only grow older. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that! I hope that you can meet some really nice parents that make up for her nastiness. It's great that you can go to those groups for moms. I've never heard of things like that around here! :D

And sorry this is late, but it's still the 14th here, so please wish Mr. peting73 a very happy birthday from me! :D Hope you guys have a wonderful week together with Alexandra! <3<3<3

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Oh, she is a bully alright. A first class one. She acts JUST like the bullies when I went to school, coating all they say in honey, so the moderators miss what she is really saying... The other parents, except one, is just her yes-sayers... And the mom that isn't, she doesn't talk. At all. I've tried talking to her, but I get no response on my tries, you know? :-/

And peting73 says Thank you! :-D

[melluransa.livejournal.com]

What a silly woman! Why does she have to lord it over everybody? It's supposed to be a fun learning experience, oh my goodness. She gives it all a bad aftertaste. Even with three kids, I'm sure she doesn't know absolutely everything there is to know! What a bad attitude.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Bad aftertast is the word. :-P Her attitude just sucks beyond belief. And she coats all she says in honey, so the moderators of the group just misses it all. Oh, I hate people like that. I really do. :-P

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

she's a bitch with a superiority complex. can't wait till her babies grow up and are just like her. why does she have to act like that, i don't know. i'm glad you guys don't have to go to these anymore.. they seem to stress you out more than anything.
other moms probably are just followers who are scared that other moms won't think they're doing the best thing for their child. they don't want to be seen as a bad mom, maybe they're afraid to stand out?

i am obsessed with that halloween costume. i think you guys should DO IT!

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Sadly we don't celebrate Halloween or any other holiday where you dress up, so... alas it won't happen. :-P

And the Bitch mom? She is just... a whole chapter in and off herself. I don't even know... She definitely got a superiority complex though, as you say! And the other moms are OK if she is not around... :-P