Writer's Block: Take the pain away

[kseenaa]

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Dear bullies from my school-years..

You nearly destroyed my life. You left me without any or near to no self-confidence. And you did it for fun... I got out off your grasp when I was 16-17. I am now 32. I still have problems with my self-confidence, even though it is way, way better now. No thanks to you. No matter how much I want it, I will never ever get away from you. You'll always be there in my mind, damn you.

I can stand back today, and see what you did every single day for what it really was. But I have my relapses. I guess I'll always have them. Now, when adult, I am mostly pissed off at the fact that you got away with it. And that there are kids today getting away with the same thing.

Words. Powerful things, aren't they? Words and eyes can hurt you beyond repair, really. My scars will never really go away, and I got off easy. I know there are kids out there that has a much, much worse time then I had during my school-years. I hope they can find relief someway, the way I did thanks to my huge crazy family, my pets and my beloved friends, the few I had and still have.

Comments

[cock-and-logic.livejournal.com]

I found your journal because I liked your icon...but I just wanted to say, I could copy every word you wrote, and post it because I can relate so much. I usually don't write such things on my lj, if I do I delete it, for fear of people seeing that at my age I still struggle terribly with the abuse I took at school and home, and the toll it's had on my life. I write more pen to paper-but yeah I've written such words before. I like your last paragraph, pets really help. :) /out

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Well, thats me really. I am disgustingly honest in my LJ. It is me, and this is part off me to. Now a days it mostly pisses me off. It took years to get to that stage though. I never ever took abuse at home. On the opposite, in fact. So much love and support I got from home. It was school that was a living hell for me. But I "only" got verbally abused. Never physically. Gladly. It does take a toll on your self confidence when it goes on for 8-9 years, though.