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KSena

July 2018

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This is KSena

Usually a friendly sort. Be nice to me, and I am nice to you. Here I ramble on about me, life, work and fandoms. I am a fan of Robin of Sherwood, Xena: Warrior Princess, Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tokio Hotel and Sons of Anarchy. I don't apologize for anything I write here. This is my mind. And you entered it. Welcome.

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Alright. Gonna do this fandom meme that I've seen floating around, even if I am somewhat late to join in, but what the helll...

1. What's the worst fanfic you've ever written/have thought about writing?

I'm not a writer, never considered myself one. I do, however, have a Prompt-document where I collect ideas/bunnies or whatever you wanna call it. I sometimes throw them at writers I know or most often than not at various fests. And there are some of them that are... Pretty crazy. *lol* They'll never be written, most likely, but yes. There are some nuts stuff there. Especially when I stumble upon websites or links and then my mind starts working. I'll show two as examples:

42. Any pairing (NO twincest!)

There is surfing on the internet. There is living on two sides of the ocean. There are travels. There is boredom. There is times when one is so horny it hurts and your significant other is far away. Good thing then, eh, that technology has done some serious leaps and bounds in this day and age! Because with a little help from LovePalz, distance is no longer a problem…

LovePalz with commentary (feel free to take inspiration!): http://kseenaa.tumblr.com/post/46293135556/nanibgal-goddessofcheese-psdo-wugs


LovePalz website so you know it is all true. :-)
https://www.lovepalz.com/

43. Gustav/Anyone

Gustav has a sister. A sister that loves teasing the hell out of her little brother when she gets the chance. So when she stumbles upon these… she sends the link to her brother, who of course tell her to go fuck off… but secretly keeps the link and buys a pair… Because really… It’s just too brilliant. And his significant other has NO complaints after an evening playing around with these! In fact, he wants a chance to use them to…

Vibrating drumsticks…: http://www.shopinprivate.com/phil-varone-sex-stix.html


Seriously, Internet? What do you DO to my brain?

2. Admit to a kink you're ashamed you like.

I am not ashamed per say about any kinks, really. But the one that is most rarely written and one can get some raised eyebrows at... is daddy-kink. And I really really love that. Also, I have a HUGE thing for darkfic with gore and all the trimmings, and that... can cause a few raised eyebrows as well. Especially since I can NOT watch horror-movies without getting nightmares. I know. Makes no sense what so ever.

3. Copy paste a line from the first smutty fanfic you wrote or fess up to a sexual fantasy you have about a character.

I don't write. I only cheat a little in drabbles. And I do a lot of RP where there's smut galore. But fic-wise? Well... Let's see if I can find a drabble that has smut in it. An early one. And, of course, the first drabble with smut in it is a dark one. And a crossover one, True Blood/Tokio Hotel.

Throwing the boy over his desk, Eric squeezed himself before pulling the boys shorts down... Those fucking eyes always got to him... Can’t have that. And he had such a nice body... A strong body. He would probably last longer than most... Not caring about preparing him, Eric pushed in... It always got a sound out of him, and he wanted to hear him...

“Gah! Oh gawd... SHIT! Ah... Fuck...”

And there it was... Eric smirked a bit, smelling the boys blood in the air... Leaning over him, he licked his neck, feeling the pulse thrum hard under the thin skin... Biting his neck next to an old scar, Eric could feel how the boy got more frantic under him, the pain more or less forgotten... mixed with pleasure now... Such sweet delicious blood... Tinged with pain, fear and pleasure... Just the right mix.

“No... Yes... Geezes, PLEASE!!!”

Not even touching him, Eric just let go of the wound and whispered in the boys ear. “Come.” And he did. Hard. Marking his desk. Again. The way his warm body clutched around him, more or less pulled Erics own orgasm out of him... And he filled the boys bleeding ass silently, nearly pushing both boy and desk across the room...


Shut up.

4. Have you ever read or written RPS/RPF?

I'd say Tokio Hotel counts. It's the only fandom where I've read RPS.

5. Most shameful ship?

I'm not ashamed of any ship I've enjoyed reading. I usually go for the rare or odd ones.

6. Ever been at the center of fandom drama?

Yeah, or at least RP-drama. Big community of players in the Buffyfandom when there was a lot of RP going on in said fandom. Was part of a whole community of players then. Mod asked for help from me. Then blamed all the problems in the game on me. All other roleplayers believed her. Things were hell for awhile and I didn't do any RP for... at LEAST 6 months or so. Not to fun, no.

7. What is your fandom guilty pleasure?

I have no idea what they mean here... Guilty pleasure? Roleplaying as a gay man maybe? I don't know...

If you have a better idea, let me know what I could answer here... Really. Suggestions are welcome.

8. Share something you did in fandom that you're embarrassed about.

I bashed another fandom without meaning to once. To me, it felt like I was drowning and got said fandom pushed at me all the time. "Like this!" "You have to like that!" "You gotta see this!" And it got to much for me and I kicked back just to get people to stop already. It wasn't very nice of me, I know. But hey... Live and learn, I guess.

9. Describe the first time you read a smutty fanfic. What ship was it and what kinks were involved?

A long time ago. And not even in Sweden. It was during my time in the US that I discovered the Xena-fandom and started reading fanfic. I can't pinpoint exact day and fic, but... I am 100% sure it was Xena/Gabrielle. I think there was bondage and whips involved. (It's Xena, come on...) And maybe some voyeurism as well, not 100% sure. So I started my fanfic-reading career with femme-slash.

10. Any fandoms you'd hate to admit you were a part of?

Nope. Not ashamed of any of them. Have a list:

Robin of Sherwood, Xena the Warriorprincess, Buffy the Vamprieslayer, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tokio Hotel, Sons of Anarchy...

11. Just how often do you think about your favorite characters getting down and dirty?

Considering I usually roleplay my favorite characters in smutty (more or less... most often then not more...) settings... You don't even wanna know.

12. Someone found your delicious account/bookmarks/AO3 account or however you keep track of your favorite fics. What's the one fic you're going to be most humiliated about?

Probably some daddy-kink fic... or the one with necrophilia. Yeah. Any of those.

13. Ever been caught reading smut/writing smut/drawing smut/looking at smutty drawings?

Peting's computer is right next to mine, so I'd say yes. And he looks and comments sometimes. Yes, he is very straight. Yes, he thought looking at gay porn was disgusting when he first meet me (although never had anything against gay-people... just didn't wanna see.). And then, well... he meet me. He is so used to it now he don't even raise an eyebrow.

14. What would your parent/guardian/family friend think if they saw your tumblr LiveJournal?

Peting: "Still the same fandom? Same old, same old... What does she wanna know about the male anatomy today?"

Spicehobbit: "RPS? AAAAH! My eyes!" *beat* "Where's the Les Misarables post...?"

Mom: "So this is what it actually looks like? Interesting..."

Brother: "You're nuts."

Had my father lived he'd have calmly told me to get out of the house more.

15. Oh shit you croaked without getting rid of the fandom stuff you saved to your computer. What's your next of kin or friend going to find when they turn on your computer?

They'd find a very orderly set of files and subfiles. So it's very easy to find on my comptuer. Photos, fanart, fanfic... The only thing I've hidden is my hentai-folder. *cough* So anyone would have to work a little to find that one. Hopefully they won't and I'll be able to stop anyone from looking in that deep dark pit.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Not dead!

Sep. 16th, 2013 01:01 am
kseenaa: (Default)
I swear!

I've just been busy, I'd say.

Kid / Alexandra / [livejournal.com profile] mini_viking (I've gotten back to update her LJ, btw!)

Especially these last two weeks. Because Alexandra has started daycare at one of the day care centers around here. Oh yes. Even if I am partly unemployed and just hired by the hour, she is still allowed 15 hours each week according to Swedish rules.

But she had to get used to the place and the teachers working there and all them other kids. But since I've been smart enough to always bring her with me everywhere and going to sing-a-longs and baby swimming class and Open Preschool and all that... Alexandra is used to people and other kids. She likes to hang around with others. She is a social kid already. So I wasn't that worried.

First days we were just there a little, progressively longer days. I was with her the whole time! Although, she didn't care much about mom, crawling off to play with all them kids. The other kids are from age 1 - 5 or 6. (You start school at age 6 here in Sweden.) So it can get a bit loud sometimes. Alexandra don't care though, she was happy crawling around. And all the other kids fussed over her, since she is the smallest one in the group. It was really cute! :-)

Second week, I started leaving her alone there, a little at a time. First time just 30 mins, and then longer and longer... Friday she was there from 8:30am until 1pm.

And she has done GREAT the whole time! The teachers that work with the kids in that group keeps telling me what a cute, brave, independent, secure in herself kid she is. I really don't know what to answer to that. Because... somehow I must have done something right along the way.

Although, I have no idea what. o.O

The day care center is AWESOME though! :-D And the teachers/staff that works there are brilliant. It wasn't our first choice, so it's a bit to walk there. Takes me 20-25 mins to get there in the morning. NOT fun. :-/ Our first choice is like... 5 mins walk from here. A bit of a difference. We are still in line for that one though, and hopefully there'll be room for Alexandra there within 6months.

So that's been keeping me VERY busy.

Alexandra will be there 8am - 1pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday every week from now on.

What will I do in the meantime? LOOK FOR A JOB!!! GAWD! I need to get out of here and hang out with other adults.

Family

Yesterday we visited my little brother who had his 32nd birthday. I've been, admittedly, very worried about him what with the divorce and his ex-wife being so... different than who she used to be it is crazy. And of course worried about my niece and nephew, Alexandra's cousins. Them kids live one week with my brother and one week with his ex-wife. So far it seems to be going really well since they live close to each other thanx to work and such...

Apparently she got another guy already though. My brother had his suspicions, but she wouldn't come clean for quite a while, but now she has. I thought that would make my brother even more upset and such... But instead he is relieved. Because now there's nothing hidden between them anymore, and he can move on. So he is way happier again, and in turn that makes the kids feel better to! Apparently they are more happier when they stay with my brother than with their mom. It's a bit crazy with his ex-wife, really...

They've been together since they both were 16. And I guess you change a lot during 16 more years...

Anyway. I am DAMN proud of how far my brother has gotten after all this. Already, I might add! It hasn't been that long since they filed for divorce. But on the other hand, the marriage hasn't been that good for long, so... *shrug*

Had a brilliant time with him and mom and my relatives yesterday though! Alexandra was exhausted when we left and slept in the car on our way home. I think she had fun to playing with cousins, grandma and such!

Fandom

I inherited a community, [livejournal.com profile] tokiohotelslash! YAY! With over 900 members! YAY! Or... wait, what?!? Because there's some seriously suspicious journals I've seen when I've checked the members list randomly... (Not updated since 2007? Not updated AT ALL? No birthdate? No info what so ever? Yes. Suspicious...)

Also, the tags is a bit of a mess. I am sure there was a plan there at some point, but it has since been lost when the community has kept changing hands.

And I want to do something with the place. Currently I do pimp-posts, once a week. Pimping fic with a specific pairing. I am also considering running some sort of fic-challenge, but how to make it different? The FQF's that are run by the BRILLIANT mods at [livejournal.com profile] th_fanfic twice a year is all the rage, not to mention Secret Santas, so I am not sure if I should...? And if I do... how to make them different? Drabbles? *shrug*

One thing at a time, I suppose. I'll have tackle the tags and members problem first.

I will admit it is a bit exciting though! And I hope I'll do a good job with it. :-D

Still keeping up my Project of Doom, as I lovingly have named it as well. :-) I keep checking TokihotelFiction.Com every day (or every other day) to see what fic has been updated, and what pairing... collecting data to see what pairing is the most popular and HOW much popular it is compared to others. It's very interesting! I've kept it up for this entire year, and it'll be fun to see the final results in December!

I feel quite proud over the fact I've managed to keep it up for 9 months! :-D I wasn't sure I'd be able to when I started, to be honest. Now I think I'll make it to the end of the year! *determined*


Anyway, that's me right now. :-) All over the place, like always. *grins* :-D I hope everyone is doing good though, or as good as can be!

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Fandom is...

Aug. 15th, 2013 01:00 am
kseenaa: (Default)
This has probably been posted by a milion and one on any blogging / journaling platform there is where fans and fandoms exist... But I can not get over how VERY true this is. And I keep going back to it again and again and again and again...

Three cheers for fans and fandoms! *pulls out the vodka*

Fandom is focus. Fandom is obsession. Fandom is insatiable consumption. Fandom is sitting for hours in front of a TV screen a movie screen a computer screen with a comic book a novel on your lap. Fandom is eyestrain and carpal tunnel syndrome and not enough exercise and staying up way, way past your bedtime.

Fandom is people you don't tell your mother you're meeting. Fandom is people in the closet, people out and proud, people in costumes, people in T-shirts with slogans only fifty others would understand. Fandom is a loud dinner conversation scaring the waiter and every table nearby.

Fandom is you in Germany and me in the US and him in Australia and her in Japan. Fandom is a sofabed in New York, a roadtrip to Oxnard, a friend behind a face in London. Fandom talks past timezones and accents and backgrounds. Fandom is conversation. Communication. Contact.

Fandom is drama. Fandom is melodrama. Fandom is high school. Fandom is Snacky's law and Godwin's law and Murphy's law. Fandom is smarter than you. Fandom is stupider than you. Fandom is five arguments over and over and over again. Fandom is the first time you've ever had them.

Fandom is female. Fandom is male. Fandom lets female play at being male. Fandom bends gender, straight, gay, prude, promiscuous. Fandom is fantasy. Fandom doesn't care about norms or taboos or boundaries. Fandom cares too much about norms and taboos and boundaries. Fandom is not real life. Fandom is closer than real life. Fandom knows what you're really like in the bedroom. Fandom is how you would never, could never be in the bedroom.

Fandom is shipping, never shipping, het, slash, gen, none of the above, more than the above. Fandom is love for characters you didn't create. Fandom is recreating the characters you didn't create. Fandom is appropriation, subversion, dissention. Fandom is adoration, extrapolation, imitation. Fandom is dissection, criticism, interpretation. Fandom is changing, experimenting, attempting.

Fandom is creating. Fandom is drawing, painting, vidding: nine seasons in four minutes of love. Fandom is words, language, authoring. Fandom is essays, stories, betas, parodies, filks, zines, usenet posts, blog posts, message board posts, emails, chats, petitions, wank, concrit, feedback, recs. Fandom is writing for the first time since you were twelve. Fandom is finally calling yourself a writer.

Fandom is signal and response. Fandom is a stranger moving you to tears, anger, laughter. Fandom is you moving a stranger to speak.

Fandom is distraction. Fandom is endangering your job, your grades, your relationships, your bank account. Fandom gets no work done. Fandom is too much work. Fandom was/is just a phase. Fandom could never be just a phase. Fandom is where you found a friend, a sister, a kindred spirit. Fandom is where you found a talent, a love, a reason.

Fandom is where you found yourself.

(Written by [livejournal.com profile] hesychasm and originally posted RIGHT HERE. Credit where credit is due.)


I just want to show this to all my friends and relatives that don't know what fandoms and fans and fanfic is... Because it is just that good.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Good and bad.

Aug. 12th, 2013 01:02 am
kseenaa: (Default)
I am an expert at procrastinate. And that is not always a good thing.

See, I have my pile of shame on my desk. That is, the pile of important papers I SHOULD deal with as soon as possible. Problem though. I procrastinate and just don't get to it. :-/ NOT of the good. This almost made me lose the space Alexandra got in public daycare. FUCK! Gladly I could solve this over the phone, but damn! That was a close call. NOT good!

Sometimes I really hate being an adult. *sigh*

I've read some really good fanfic lately though! I usually don't take time to read any fanfic, but the other night I did. :-) I can never resist a good threesome fic, and then there was a prequel to, so hey... All of the good, right? Only, I'd never read anything in said fandom before, so I was very much the virgin. And it was awesome! :-D What a great fic that was!

So I do recommend checking it out. It's written by [livejournal.com profile] snowstormskies and her friend (and bunny-farmer) [livejournal.com profile] casey270.

They made these fic into a series called Growth and Change, so I hope there'll be more. :-)

First is called A Place To Grow and the second is called A Time To Change. It's in the Adam Lambert fandom with Tom Kaulitz thrown in for good measure. ;-)

When I'd finished reading that thing I cruised around the community where that thing had been posted here on LJ. And what do I find. But a fic mixing up the Adam Lambert fandom... and Buffy the Vampireslayer fandom. X-D In specific them two vampires Spike and Angel! *laughs ass off* I swear to gawd them vampires show up EVERYWHERE! Either that or everyone wants them to fuck everything... or get fucked by everything! *is highly amused* I think I have to read that fic to, just for the hell of it. Snarky vampires? I am SOOO there! X-D

Tomorrow [livejournal.com profile] peting73 goes back to work after his long LOOOOONG vacation (5 weeks), so it'll be just me and Alexandra alone again. I think I'll take her to the library. We need to change up the picture books here anyway. :-) Plus she broke a cookbook I borrowed earlier, so I need to... probably get a bill for that. :-P If I can't talk my way out of it. And I need to get an appointment to cut my hair at the hairdresser downtown.

At least I have some sort of plan to entertain her tomorrow. And me. *grin*

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Caught up!

Jul. 2nd, 2013 01:27 am
kseenaa: (Home sweet home)
I don't know how, but I finally got caught up on my f-list today... I'll try to post a proper post tomorrow. HONEST!

Also, one of my prompts have been picked up on the FQF! :-D YAY! Billstav and sillyness, plus hopefully sexyness. Dude. I R happy. Glad to see so many prompts and so many picked up already! It'll be awesome, I am sure!

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

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