Not dead. Promise.

[kseenaa]

I am not dead. I have just felt... incredibly down lately. I haven't felt this down in a long long time. Can't even remember when last it happened.

I partly know a small part of the problem, but not all. I just... *sigh* There it is anyway. I am doing better lately, and slowly. And I feel incredibly guilty for not reading any of your LJ-posts that I follow. I am very very sorry about that.

Following a few swedish blogs who are some of the most honest and open blogs I've ever read, I think I should kick myself in the ass and post more. And really write how I feel. So what if no one reads or gives a damn. At least getting it down on words have always helped.

I am doing better though. But damn, this winter... It has not been good to me, that's for sure. I hope I'll do better come spring. *sigh*

Edit: I feel a clarification is needed. LJ has NOTHING to do with me feeling down. Nothing at all. In fact, it's thanx to the communities I run that I have a small smile on my face during the evenings. And my family and the LARP.

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Comments

[thywillbedone.livejournal.com]

I stopped posting on mine for the same reason, but you always did, and I will never forget that. *hugs*

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Well, me feeling down has nothing to do with LJ, much the opposite in fact. It's what I play around with at night to try and clear my head. And writing down how I feel here also helps, actually. I've done that for 10 years and counting... so I doubt I'll stop any time soon. :-)

[volare.livejournal.com]

-=HUG=-

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* Feels good to get hugs from you, my friend.

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know that feeling... Doom and gloom is not a good place to live in. But hopefully spring is on the way, and more light will help?

Also, give a hug to your little viking, I hope she too feels better soon. (I saw the tweets about her having false croup.)

(What's up with the weird fish things picture in your leave-a-comment-box, anyway? They are vaguely disturbing, and very surprising...)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Spring will most likely help, yeah. It's my favorite season, it really is.

Alexandra was OK after four days, so yeah... That was a scare. She waking up and me going in there to find she ain't breathing properly... o.O But the Doctors at the Children's ER here were AWESOME! I gotta say, so she got meds, we had a night were me and Peting had to take turns sitting up with her and after that... A bit of fever, a bit of cough for a few days and after that she's been well. :-)

To be honest, she had a few periods of puking when she was 3-4 months old, but after that she's been a very healthy kid. A bit of a runny nose, but nothing worse until now. So I won't complain, really. I mean, I've heard horror-stories... :-P

(I have no idea what was up with the weird fish-thing... o.O That has never showed before when I used that layout. Very odd. o.O)

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

I must say fall is my favourite, but spring is the second best - suddenly, there's light!

Yeah, that's gotta be very scary, her not breathing properly. Good to hear she's back to being well again, and quickly. Let's hope she continues to be a very healthy kid! :-)

(If I ever see the weird fish-things again, I'll tell you and maybe you can figure it out. Or not. No biggie, they just surprised me.)

[zeph317toho.livejournal.com]

Oh, love, I'm so sorry you've been feeling so down. I wish I could give you a big hug and make it better. Don't even worry if you feel like you haven't been around--that happens to all of us when life goes nuts or leaves us without any energy or motivation. Just hang in there and keep finding the joy in the things you love. I hope you feel much better soon! *sends you all the love and hugs*

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I wish I could everyone could give me hugs so I'd feel better. I really do. I wish I could help you to! *clings and hugs* Maybe we could send some strength and love to each other, eh? *HUGS*

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

Hello darling;

I scrolled down so that I could read your posts in order.

I am so so so sorry to hear that you've been feeling this way. It sounds like the 'down' feeling is not only frustrating, but incredibly oppressive, and like you feel like you're being prevented from enjoying things in your life because of it.

I'm gonna scroll up and read the rest before I say anything else though.

Remember I <3 u.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I know you do, luv. And knowing you are there after all these years feels amazing. YOU are amazing. Thank you... *HUGS*