First of all, I'm glad you're listening. *hugs* Being stuck in that rut is shitty, and I'm so glad that you're thinking about how to reach out and ask for help because it's important. You're not bad or wrong or broken for doing it - you're experiencing something that's not good for a long long time, and feeling mentally unwell. Those are good reasons to ask for help.
It doesn't matter if you have a big family or small one, have lots of money or nothing, or have a nice husband. You're allowed to feel down and depressed, and you're allowed to reach out and ask for help. Although many people are in different dire straits, it doesn't negate how you feel or what you are experiencing. My experiences are mine. Yours are yours. Comparing the two together to see who gets the pity party and who gets the help and support is a daft thing to do.
With regards to Alex, I did some net poking (see, you're not the only one who can do research) and I expect the nurse you see about Alex will be telling you the same thing: Alex is getting older and it's time for her to start sleeping through the night on her own.
When you go in there, cuddling, rocking, and giving her food, she's learnt that in order to get back to sleep when she's woken up on her own, she needs Mom and Dad's help. The thought process is "I've woken up. Damn. Time to summon mom and dad to come and help put me back there!" It's a learned behaviour - and now, it's hell. Imagine what it'll be like when she's able to get out of bed on her own and come and find you. And no, barricading yourself in your own room is not an option.
You don't have to abandon her to cry it out for hours and hours - I don't think your neighbours would appreciate that, tbh - but you need Alex to understand that if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she should put herself back to sleep again without summoning the cavalry.
Supernanny and Toddler Taming recommend something like this which is a controlled technique - you're deliberately limiting the amount of interaction she gets when she wakes up so it no longer becomes worth all that palaver for just five seconds of shushing and patting on the back.
And I do suggest Toddler Taming as a book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Toddler-Taming-bestselling-parenting/dp/0091902584 It's quite possibly the thing that saved my mother's sanity with me and my brother. XD Everything you could need to know and it's not judgey judgey book like some. It starts out with the "This is my problem," and then it offers solutions. Sleep patterns get a WHOLE chapter, too. *parent owns an old edition*
no subject
It doesn't matter if you have a big family or small one, have lots of money or nothing, or have a nice husband. You're allowed to feel down and depressed, and you're allowed to reach out and ask for help. Although many people are in different dire straits, it doesn't negate how you feel or what you are experiencing. My experiences are mine. Yours are yours. Comparing the two together to see who gets the pity party and who gets the help and support is a daft thing to do.
With regards to Alex, I did some net poking (see, you're not the only one who can do research) and I expect the nurse you see about Alex will be telling you the same thing: Alex is getting older and it's time for her to start sleeping through the night on her own.
When you go in there, cuddling, rocking, and giving her food, she's learnt that in order to get back to sleep when she's woken up on her own, she needs Mom and Dad's help. The thought process is "I've woken up. Damn. Time to summon mom and dad to come and help put me back there!" It's a learned behaviour - and now, it's hell. Imagine what it'll be like when she's able to get out of bed on her own and come and find you. And no, barricading yourself in your own room is not an option.
You don't have to abandon her to cry it out for hours and hours - I don't think your neighbours would appreciate that, tbh - but you need Alex to understand that if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she should put herself back to sleep again without summoning the cavalry.
Supernanny and Toddler Taming recommend something like this which is a controlled technique - you're deliberately limiting the amount of interaction she gets when she wakes up so it no longer becomes worth all that palaver for just five seconds of shushing and patting on the back.
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1027930/crying-it-out
And I do suggest Toddler Taming as a book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Toddler-Taming-bestselling-parenting/dp/0091902584 It's quite possibly the thing that saved my mother's sanity with me and my brother. XD Everything you could need to know and it's not judgey judgey book like some. It starts out with the "This is my problem," and then it offers solutions. Sleep patterns get a WHOLE chapter, too. *parent owns an old edition*