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Couch to 5K!
Alright, next subject at hand...
I've been thinking about this a long, long time... But it has come to a head really lately.
I am so, SO unfit it ain't even funny... Our apartment is on the second floor here in this house, and I lose my breath everytime I carry Alexandra and the diaper bag with all the stuff... I am so out of breath it ain't even funny. And that's no good. Definitely not.
Alexandra might just be crawling, but soon she'll be running around. And she'll get heavier for me to carry when she is in a bad mood. And now? It doesn't feel like I could do it properly, not to mention not be able to keep up with her.
So when I was sitting at the computer the other night I followed a link... that lead to a site... found a link there that lead to a site... found a link there that lead to a site... You get the picture.
And ended up at the site called Couch to 5K.
I read and I watched vids and I read some more. And some more. Read the program to, and... Even though I don't think I can do it in 9 weeks as it says on the site, I think I can do it in 18 weeks, doing everything twice instead of once.
Exercise? Running? Me? Unbelievable.
Why is that? Well, since school I have failed every exercise I've tried. Why? Because even though I got my self confidence back in all other areas since I was badly bullied in school, I still have NO self confidence when it comes to exercise... I have this voice in my head telling me I look ridiculous, that people are laughing at me, that I'll fail, and I should just go home already... That would be my programmed reptile-brain. Programmed by my bullies all those years ago. And I have yet to change that programming. The bullying stopped when I was 16-17 years old. I am now 35. Crazy what bullying can do...
Anyway. I feel quite good about this. I've been doing this running thing twice now and... I feel confident. I am, of course, EXHAUSTED after everytime and have to sit down catching my breath and cough for a bit afterwards... Not to mention my left leg (that is a bit shorter) aches a lil by the knee when I am done... But not to bad! Don't worry, I will be careful! '
But... It feels like I can do this! Even if I do want to crawl out of my skin and go hide when anyone looks at me when I do try to run/jog/hobble along... It's scary and it is as much a mental exercise that it is a physically one.
I just hope I can conquer this... To reach the goal! Some cheering on would be appreciated. :-) It'll help me reach this goal!
This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
I've been thinking about this a long, long time... But it has come to a head really lately.
I am so, SO unfit it ain't even funny... Our apartment is on the second floor here in this house, and I lose my breath everytime I carry Alexandra and the diaper bag with all the stuff... I am so out of breath it ain't even funny. And that's no good. Definitely not.
Alexandra might just be crawling, but soon she'll be running around. And she'll get heavier for me to carry when she is in a bad mood. And now? It doesn't feel like I could do it properly, not to mention not be able to keep up with her.
So when I was sitting at the computer the other night I followed a link... that lead to a site... found a link there that lead to a site... found a link there that lead to a site... You get the picture.
And ended up at the site called Couch to 5K.
I read and I watched vids and I read some more. And some more. Read the program to, and... Even though I don't think I can do it in 9 weeks as it says on the site, I think I can do it in 18 weeks, doing everything twice instead of once.
Exercise? Running? Me? Unbelievable.
Why is that? Well, since school I have failed every exercise I've tried. Why? Because even though I got my self confidence back in all other areas since I was badly bullied in school, I still have NO self confidence when it comes to exercise... I have this voice in my head telling me I look ridiculous, that people are laughing at me, that I'll fail, and I should just go home already... That would be my programmed reptile-brain. Programmed by my bullies all those years ago. And I have yet to change that programming. The bullying stopped when I was 16-17 years old. I am now 35. Crazy what bullying can do...
Anyway. I feel quite good about this. I've been doing this running thing twice now and... I feel confident. I am, of course, EXHAUSTED after everytime and have to sit down catching my breath and cough for a bit afterwards... Not to mention my left leg (that is a bit shorter) aches a lil by the knee when I am done... But not to bad! Don't worry, I will be careful! '
But... It feels like I can do this! Even if I do want to crawl out of my skin and go hide when anyone looks at me when I do try to run/jog/hobble along... It's scary and it is as much a mental exercise that it is a physically one.
I just hope I can conquer this... To reach the goal! Some cheering on would be appreciated. :-) It'll help me reach this goal!
This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.