Sneaking out of the closet... AKA That Coming Out Meme

[kseenaa]

domina_malfoy had this in her LJ, and I just... had to. :-)

I had no idea it was IDAHO today. International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. I just had to join in. There is just no other way! :-D So spread some love! Share your coming out story! Or simply just read, enjoy and tell everyone how awesome they are... :-)



MEME with all the stories right HERE! Or just click the flag. :-)

Wanna hear my story? Well... I'll just share it here as well:

Oh, my, my... What to say. :-)

Righto!

When I figured it out: I blame Xena: The WarriorPrincess! *laughs ass off* No really, I do. Hang in there. :-)

Being big, tall and slightly chubby, boys usually teased me. I never really had any serious boyfriends until I was around my 20's. And I like boys! I do! I love them and all the parts on them and with them to. :-) But they never really liked me that much...

When I was around my late teens I partied HARD with a bunch of friends every weekend at a WONDERFUL nightclub in the neighbouring city. We had a lot of fun! Again, boys didn't really show interest in me, although I did like very much to look at them.

BUT! Girls started to flirt with me... WHAT? I thought at first... But apparently 6feet tall curvy chubby women in Docs are of the good... Who knew? And I LIKED it! A lot! Revelation! Girls were nice to look at to. And I looked... and looked... and looked... at both boys and girls... But I didn't dare to do anything about it. Boys didn't want me (dammit!) and I didn't dare to do anything about the girls, more then a hug and a kiss on the cheek... (DAMMIT!)

Enter a break. I live in the US for a year, with a family where I worked as an aupair, a live in nanny. Revelation nr 2: Xena. This family was HUGE fans of both Herkules the Legendary Journeys and Xena: The WarriorPrincess. And the subtext in Xena is more a case of canon... I loved it. Here I had a heroine who clearly loved her partner with all that she had to the extent she'd sacrifice her life for her. And Gabrielle would do the same for Xena. While at the same time both of them enjoyed men, quite frequently... I was hooked, line and sinker.

Back to Sweden, I then moved from the small village where I grew up and I lost all them friends I used to party with. Instead I moved to a bigger city to study when I was around 24 years old, and I also got involved with the Student Union and worked quite frequently at the Student Union Pub and also being a frequent guest there....

Here the mentality was different. VASTLY different. You liked boys? NO PROBLEM! You liked girls? NO PROBLEM! You like both? NO PROBLEM! And slowly, ever so slowly I started to sneak out of my closet. I got plenty friends with... any sexual orientation you can imagine. And some. While still the hetero was the prominent one, most of us enjoyed reading slashfics of any kind, it was a bonding thing I suppose.

I got a boyfriend... that didn't last sadly, even if we are still friends. And, very briefly, a girlfriend to. I'll be forever thankful for her... She opened my eyes to even more of the beauty of women. And she is still a dear friend.

I have let it slip in conversations to my family and extended family as well, and they are totally cool with it to, gladly. :-) And wasn't the least bit surprised! Wait, what? I suppose I'll never find out the answer to that one! *laugh* Hmm... Oh well...

Now I am living with a man, that I expect to spend the rest of my life with. I love him dearly, and he is totally cool with me being bisexual. At least he has been for the last 8 or so years. ;-) The discussions we have at times, geezes... It would make a catholic priest faint. X-D

Anyway, I am Emma AKA KSena and thats my story. :-)

Comments

[lilliephoenix.livejournal.com]

i blame she-ra. she made me feel... funny things. of course, i was 4, so i thought i just really, really liked her costume. i didn't figure out that i was bi until i was in my 20's, married, with 2 kids. more like, i realized that it was OK to feel those funny things. only having had one partner in my life, i can't imagine actually opening up myself and my life to another person, but it's fun to look. now my husband point out hot girls to one another. ;-)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

It is good to have something to blame, isn't it? *grin* Ah, fandoms and TV-shows... what they do to us? *lol*

Me and my hubby has those discussions as well! Oh good lord... X-D What's the perfect size of a boob... sex-sites... etc etc... A catholic priest would indeed faint. *wicked grin*

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

Damn, I missed it... Kinda sucks; it's no fun having to go back in the closet after moving to this little backwater... The internet is my free space.

And I definitely agree with this bit: "apparently 6feet tall curvy chubby women in Docs are of the good". *grins* You are one of the reasons I know what I am (You and Willow Rosenberg, I'd say...), the Student Union gave me a space to learn to be proud of it, and lots of supportive friends. All good things. :-)

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

*smiles* You are a beauty, my dear friend. Inside and out. I am happy for a lot of things we have talked about and done. *hugs hard* And proud of it to.

I can imagine it being tough to have to crawl back into the closet indeed. I am so, so glad I haven't had to. And that peting73 is such an understanding and wonderful man. I am lucky to have him. Had I never turned out to be so damn active with the Student Union and running around so much at the Student Union Pub I would never ever have figured myself out as I did. YOU had a lot to do with that to, as you can well imagine. Much love for that. Well... You and skarvsladden. She is dangerous to make out with, that woman... ;-) *grins*

[astroflammante.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* My past would be much less without you in it. (Ok, that sounds like you're no longer a friend, but I hope you understand that's not what I mean...)

Going back in the closet is sucky, but at least this time around I can have the door open a bit, :-) My family knows, and Mom seems to be okay with it these days. Telling Dad was never an issue, he's definitely of the open-minded kind. And little brother and I often disagree on whether or not a particular woman is attractive or not, but he has no problems with having said discussions. *grins* I've never actually introduced a girlfriend to them, but I think they'd handle that too. So things could be much, much worse.

And the Student Union can probably be considered responsible for expanding a lot of minds...

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I understand perfectly what you mean. :-) And I do agree.

With what you said about the Student Union as well. It was such a great environment back then! Open-hearted and slightly insane. Just what we needed, I think.

Glad to hear your parents are cool with it these days though. :-) I remember you worried a lot about that. Makes me very happy to see.