Christmas-spirit? Eh... No.

[kseenaa]

I don't know what it is with my Christmas-spirit this year, but I gotta say. I have none.

I've been working my ASS off trying to fix Christmas-gifts for everyone. Usually I buy on online-auctions, used and new stuff. Also websites and such. But I was a bit late doing that, so... All arrived though, in the nick of time. I wrapped what was supposed to be the last one tonight.

Except one hasn't arrived. peting73's hasn't arrived. So.... Slightly pissed off about that. And I ordered it the 2nd of December to! So I wasn't THAT late...

And I've tried to keep the apartment clean, and well... I've sorta managed that. In between Alexandra's temper tantrums. Oh yeah, she has started with those now.

Night between Thursday-Friday she stayed up from 1:30am to 5am. I'd gone to bed at 1am. Then she wakes up at 7am again, and we're home alone since peting73 is at work.

I was not a happy momma then. Gladly I had a sleep in both Friday morning and Saturday morning, since it was LARP-time for me this weekend!

But... I stayed up until 4am Saturday morning either way, so didn't sleep to much then either. Helped a friend with some stuff online then, even if... Well. Friend it feels like I'm in a drama with, so... I don't know. Worried like FUCK about her while at the same time I'm driven up the wall.

Long story there, not going into it.

Add to that that my OTHER really good friend online has gone MIA lately, and what with her suffering from a permanent disease, that kinda worries me... a lot.

I've sent off a ton of packets and christmas-cards today, so they'll be late, but they're on the way, so... perhaps call it a New Years card instead, maybe? *shrug*

Usually I have a shit-ton of spoons, but this christmas? Feels like there are no spoons left, wth? What is this with me lately?

peting73 does offer to help, but I don't know what to tell him. I just SEE what needs to be done during the day, and he... don't. And it's hard to make a list of things that I do during the day, especially during Christmas.

And next year we'll have a gathering here on the 23ed instead of going to peting73s mom like we'll do tomorrow... Oh, I do NOT look forward to that. Well, I do, but not the preparations for it. With Alexandra a year older to. Oh gawd...

Well, this was a chipper post, wasn't it?

Guh.

I'll just go to bed and pull something old and ugly over me. Like my cover.

And I haven't even painted my nails. *RAGE*

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

Comments

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[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

:( :( :( this entry makes me so sad especially because i know how happy you usually are about christmas/the holidays. i already read ahead and know that it ends well, but to spruce this entry up a little THANK YOU FOR MY PACKAGE OF CANDY!!! i didn't send out ANYTHING this year :( :( :( because i was away the ENTIRE holiday season. i will make it up to you next year and in the meantime zach and i have eaten all the candy already.

i can't believe how big alexandra has gotten. so fast.

Re: :

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is true. I usually love Christmas and the holidays and all that...

But this year I've felt down and blue since mid-November. And I can't really shake it. It's weird and not like me at all. :-/

Making those little packages with candy and cards and all that... That put a smile on my face though. :-) And I am very happy that you enjoyed it. AND that you shared with Zach this year. ;-) Poor guy needs to get a chance to try some swedish candy to.

Traveling is in your blood, I know... But it must have been tough to be away from home during Christmas? I remember when I was in the US, that was the toughest time of the year for me...

Re: :

[ruchirahni.livejournal.com]

do you think it might be belated post partum, a little bit? you've been working far less than your'e used to because of alexandra. do you think it's because you're seeing less people nowadays maybe? what else could be contributing?

u have my <3 and support always, you know that much. =)

it was actually fine cuz i was with zach! i skyped home at the end of the day and spoke to my mom and sara, so that was a little sad, but most of the day i didn't even remember it was christmas. i know, i know, I'm terrible. plus i was with zach.

[kseenaa.livejournal.com]

I don't know... Maybe? I'm unemployed (again) and there's all the issues with that... Feeling bad about living mostly on Peting's salary... and then Alexandra can be a devil-child some days... and I had a fallout with a friend online... Christmas and all the stuff that comes with that... and just... Things piling up, you know? SO I don't know... :-/ I hope I'll be able to get passed it at some point, I really do.

Can spring come, please? A winter without snow, making winter very very grey isn't helping either, let me tell you. :-P