According to what I've read on LJ, scaring off missionaries is an acceptable sport to many people, so I don't think too many of your readers will be upset with you for that. Especially considering the kind of people your audience consists of... *grins*

I mean, I'm definitely some sort of slightly new-agey spiritual person (I've been researching modern druidism lately) and I heartily agree that missionaries needs to be told to fuck off. If at all possible in some funny and reasonably polite way.

Although my personal best in this kind of sport was entirely unintentional... I just opened the door and said hello! I was preparing for a night out, possibly at Epsilon. So, you know, head-to-toe black and the *seriously* Goth make-up. For some reason, they more-or-less turned and ran... :-D