kseenaa: (Tea loved)
If you remember I didn't do that good before Midsummer. And in the end, that might have been a blessing in disguise. Which sounds weird as fuck, but hear me out here.

I was still down and a bit out of it during packing in the morning, to the point I almost pissed Peting off, because he figured I could try to see something good with the trip. And I did!! I did! Meeting my huge insane extended family is GOLD! It was what kept me going, to meet them all at my aunts as she holds her annual Midsummer party the day before Midsummer Eve.

So, once we packed (which actually went surprisingly well... very surprising!), we were on our way to meet up with my aunt and her family. One of my cousins are still globetrotting, which she's done for years, but her two siblings would be there. Those three cousins are the closest to me of all my relatives. We grew up as siblings almost, since our mothers are so close.

We hung out with my aunts husband (totally awesome!) and one of my cousins until my aunt got off work. Then we just hung out, talked and helped her. Alexandra charmed everyone that saw her, as par usual, even if she was very shy at first. Also normal. Peting left early, since he had an 8 hour drive to do from my aunts to his friend further north in the country.

Which is part of what stressed me out and left me feel totally out if it. Because now we're basically dumped at my aunts. I didn't know when my mom was going to show, and I knew she just wanted us to drive her to the next party with her gentleman caller and then we'd be abandoned at her home for Midsummer Eve. Just me and Alexandra. By ourselves. During a holiday usually celebrated with family. (Unless you are a teen or of drinking age, then you just get drunk.)

Either way, it felt really depressing and stressful. My aunt hugged me lots and kept saying her sister was insane that she didn't want to hang out with me and Alexandra on Midsummer Eve when we so rarely get to go to visit her.

A bit past 8pm Alexandra was starting to whine that she was tired and wanted to leave and go to bed. She was being very good and had stayed up more than an hour past her normal bedtime, so totally understandable. I had a ton of packing, so I asked my aunt, cousin and some more relatives to help me carry my stuff to mom's car, since she'd arrived an hour or so earlier.

And then it started. How I was supposed to drive her and her gentleman caller here and there BEFORE I could go home to moms and put me and Alexandra to bed and the things there was in the fridge for us to eat, classical Midsummer food, and this and that and I just...

I lost it a bit. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did. So mom and aunt and one of my second cousins (that I adore) saw and heard.

Everyone hugged me and helped me and all was good. I drove off, just me and Alexandra. She was sooo tired, but was doing good and even though I said she could sleep in the car, she didn't. The phone went off twice during the drive, but I couldn't answer and drive at the same time during the evening, so I figured I'd see who it was once Alexandra was in bed.

She did great, went to bed at mom's feel asleep and all, after almost an hour (!), but that was expected when not being in her own bed.

Checking my phone while unpacking the car (headphones is the shit), it was mom that had called and texted me. She was upset I was upset and all... and when I called her she said she'd cancelled her plans with her gentleman caller so she could be with me and Alexandra.

I felt bad about that, guilty that she cancelled her plans. I had her car, but some relatives drove her home. We hugged and talked and it was all good.

We ended up having a GREAT Midsummer Eve! Probably the best one I've had in a couple of years. Ever since Peting started to go visiting his friend by himself, I'd say. I kept feeling guilty about ruining mom's plans, but it faded eventually.

My aunt and her husband came over to, and we had SUCH a good time! We really really did! Mom told me she had such a great time to, and I believe her! I could tell she wasn't just saying that.

We ended up staying with mom for a whole week! :-D Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day just me and Alexandra. Peting joined us late late Midsummer Day. The day after that my brother dropped off his kids, and they stayed there as well for the rest of the week. FULL HOUSE! *LOL* It was great. :-D It really was. Alexandra had a blast the whole time. There was much giggling to be heard every night when them three kids was going to sleep. *LOL*

And I managed to relax to! Me, who am always stressing over one thing or another managed to STOP doing that and just... relax and hanging out with the kids. It was GREAT!

We took it easy at mom's, went to the public pool, cooked and baked together... It was WONDERFUL! I could see mom had a blast to being surrounded by all three of her grandkids at the same time, which is pretty rare.

So that whole trip ended up amazing, even if it had a very rocky start. :-)

On Sunday [personal profile] snowstormskies is coming here for her, by this point, annual visit! I think it's the fourth time she visits, unless I've lost count. *lol* We don't have any huge plans. Just to hang out, visit mom and go to Karlsborg's fortress. Going to be nice, I think! :-D

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Default)
Figured it was time for another pimp-post or whatever you wanna call them. There's just to many fun stuff to look at online, and then I feel the urge to share it. Sure, I retweet or replurk as well, but to collect it in one big post just appeals to me. Bear with me.

Lately, since it's had it's opening (on Valentines Day, wth?) I've seen a lot of stuff and read a lot of stuff about 50 Shades of Grey, the infamous Twilight fanfic... (in case you didn't know it was a Twilight fanfic...)

And OK, I admit. I read the first book. And yes, I do enjoy some BDSM in the bedroom. So hence it made me curious. But what I read? That was NOT BDSM! Oh HELL to the no! That was abuse. Plain and simple. :-/

So ever since I've been following the twitter account @50shadesabuse. Mostly I jus feel sorry for those who have gone through emotional abuse and is meet with this fail-tastic book that makes their experience into romance... *shakes head*

Prepare for shitload of links about 50 Shades of Grey Fail Abuse.... :-P

This is a short and to the point piece from The Independent UK which... I like because it IS to the point AND has actually lines from the book in the text/graphics. And no, they aren't made up. They ARE from the book.

Fifty Shades of Grey: It doesn't take a genius to realise that Christian Grey is a domestic abuser

This was absolutly brilliant. Because like it or not, 50 Shades of Grey does have fans. A shitload of them. And they are defending book and movie. It's easy to let the blood run hot in such a discussion, especialy if you or a close one to you have experienced mental abuse. So this is a brilliant piece to go to for advice on HOW to take the discussion with them fans. Calmly. Rational. And showing the flaw in their logic.

Let’s talk about 50 Shades in a calm and rational way

And this? This was also interesting. I'd like to know how many you got right if you haven't read the books... I think that would be quite interesting to know. ;-) Care to share?

Can You Tell The Difference Between Christian Grey And A Serial Killer?

And this? This just disturbed me. I mean, seriously? WTH? If you run into a guy like this... RUUUUN!!! Geezes... The poor girl in the interview both disturbed me and made me so achingly sad for her... :-/

Real-Life Christian Grey Claims To Have 'Converted' 350 Women To BDSM

This is one of the best reviews I've read. Because the reviewer walked into the movie theaters knowing NOTHING about 50 Shades of Grey, and the shock after watching it is so so so obvious in her review. And people think this is romance... WTH?

Rosie Reviews: Fifty Shades of Grey - Rosie Waterland expected the whole movie to be a bit of a cheesy laugh. Instead she walked out of the cinema on the verge of tears.

This is a professional morning show host giving a review of 50 Shades of Grey, and... she isn't holding back, put it that way. DAMN she's mean! X-D I kinda love it! And she brings up valid points to. :-)

Lisa Wilkinson names Fifty Shades of Grey worst movie I've ever seen  )

These are so so so hilarious! Sometimes you can find true gold on Imgur. X-D And the even more hilarious thing is that the flaws pointed out in these reviews, and highlighted in an image... are things that ACTUALLY happen in the books! Oh, good lord... X-D

1 star reviews of 50 Shades of Grey on

One might think what with the movie coming up that the actors would be all over the place playing it up to promote the movie, right? Right? Nooooo!!! X-D OH SO WRONG! I guess they're trying, but they just look uncomfortable together! And as rumors go, apparently they had to reshoot the sex-scenes since they were far from hot. HA HA HA HA!!! X-D I should feel sorry for them, I really should... But they signed up for it. :-D

50 Shades of [Sigh]: The Disastrous 50 Shades of Grey Press Tour

This is a really good piece by the people behind the mentioned twitter account. They list various reasons why the books can be dagnerous and also what Christian does in the books. What makes him an abusive man and why is it dangerous to make that look romantic.

The powerful effect fiction can have on reality

This piece is really interesting because it looks at the interactions between Ana and Christian in 50 Shades through the law. Legally, who should be in the handcuffs? Really?

Fifty Shades Of Grey: Top barrister on whether Christian should be the one in handcuffs

Three BDSM-enthusiasts view on 50 Shades of Grey. They to don't hold any punches, put it that way...

Fifty Shades of Grey: what BDSM enthusiasts think

When a blog called Everyday Victim Blaming writes a post about 50 Shades of Grey and is less than kind about it? You know something is seriously wrong..

Domestic Violence in 50 Shades of Grey

The site Rape Crisis also makes a post talking about the dangersou with 50 Shades of Grey should tell you lot something. And it's a really good piece to, going through the whole books. It's really eyeopening.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" Saviour of relationships or abusers handbook?

Yet another piece discussing how dangerous men like Christian Grey is. The amount of articles, blogg posts, protests at screenings should tell you something. So yeah, it's important to spread this I feel.

A Charming Psycho Is Still A Psycho: Why 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Is Sending Women The Wrong Message

Also, whoever did this, THANK YOU SO MUCH for ruining my childhood! FUCK! Even Frozen who I have to watch several times a week what with Alexandra loving it. GAWD DAMMIT!

50 Shades of Disney . . . OMG

TLDR, if you don't wanna check all the above, than at least check out this vid:

This vid, one of my favorites I've seen actually, combines the brilliant speech that the US President, Barak Obama, held aginst abuse towards women. It combines his speech with cuts from the movie... that interestingly enough fits so very very well with the speech... while trying to make it look hot. URGH! But yeah, if you don't have the energy to check ANY other link, than this is it. Really.

Obama & Fifty Shades of Grey )

And now I will shut up about the subject. At least for a long time ahead. Unless you follow me on Twitter, that is... :-P

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Default)
Oh gawd. Where to even begin with this clusterfuck of insanity that went down this weekend? Let’s see if I can. And, unless they are too personal, I will try and answer any questions in the comments.

This might be a little bit triggering, so a little warning for that.

Remember my friend that committed suicide? That I’ve mourned since July? Well. Turns out, she never did. She’s not dead.

I found this out Friday. A DM on Twitter was sent to me with a link to an LJ-post where this person had dug out the truth about the fact that my friend had faked her own suicide.

At that point, I wasn’t sure, since my friend and her had their on and off friendship, and they were on and off enemies. So I couldn’t be sure of anything at that point. I was, however, hurt to see myself being discussed in the comments. (Just to later see that the frienenimy had made a post where I was discussed…)

Because, like it or not… I did like my friend. We had a lot of fun together. I supported her through anxiety attacks, talked her out of it when her paranoia went highwire, we talked about her kid and mine, she supported me when I went through IVF to get Alexandra, we roleplayed (so much!), we fangirled, we sent letters and photos to each other, christmas-cards, birthday cards… We had a lot of fun! And it wasn’t just through chatt, we talked through Skype and called each other on the phone to.

And I was my crazy honest blunt person with her to. Wasn’t like I walked around on eggshells when talking to her, if anyone would believe that. Still, she said herself that she saw me as her best friend. She liked my honesty and bluntness and often asked for it to.

Anyway, so after I’d seen that LJ-post, I got an email. From my friend. Just a few mins after I’d read that LJ-post (and commented on it). Two emails even. And second later, a message on my IM. Just to hit the shock home, or I don’t even know.

In these emails she tried to explain why she did it. And there’s just… too much that don’t add up. And reading between the lines, which I have gotten quite good at, I can see that she don’t wanna lose me as a friend.

I just… I can’t even. How? How can I even trust her after such a thing? I feel that I don’t even know her anymore. Four years. I stood up for her, supported her, helped her for four years. And she just threw that in my face like it was worth nothing. Nothing at all.

So how come then she went through such extremes?

I have no idea. I have two sides of the story, the frienimy (friends sometimes, enemy sometimes) and hers. And to be frank, even though I don’t trust much of what my previous friend wrote me, there’s much that don’t add up from her frienemimes posts either.

And to be honest, I really don’t care. Can’t say I want anything to do with either of them.

I am so incredibly hurt right now. I don’t think I’ve been this hurt since I don’t even know when. I feel both used and abused.

I just want to curl up in a corner and hide.

Can’t have that though. The warrior viking just fights on. No stopping life from moving is it?


This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Default)
Right, so this trip, this Midsummer-marathon…. *shakes head*

No. It was not a good trip. At all. Well, it had some highlights, for sure. Like the country manor where we had our stop during the trip since we didn’t want to drive 8 hours with Alexandra in the car. That country manor saved the entire trip for me. It was glorious. What a place!

But the goal of the trip, the family of [livejournal.com profile] peting73’s friend? I felt horribly uncomfortable, frustrated and irritated the entire time I was there. And I don’t think Alexandra liked it much there either nor the long trip, since she hardly ate anything at all during the entire weekend. :-/

And so the sordid story about this trip unfolds...  )

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Default)
I am just gonna get this out and get it out here. I apparently have saddened a friend, and even though I am blunt and everyone knows it... it makes me a bit sad everytime it happens.

So rant. Here. Hang on to your hats. This might get ugly. But it is MY opinion. And I am entitled to have one to, right?

I feel flooded. And damn lonely. :-/ Why? Because this last month, two last months? Something like that... My flist, my tweet-list, my plurk-list, my tumbler-dash... it is OVER-RUN with One Direction and Big Time Rush. It's like a damn plague. Everywhere. Just... everywhere... these boys, that to me... is damn annoying.

Now, I am sure they are nice and friendly to everyone and supportive to great causes and all that.

But me? I REALLY dislike their music. I sure as hell don't see anything cute or pretty or sexy with any of them. I've checked them out, oh yes. I have no choice, now do I? Since I get flooded from left and right. I've even done Google-searches to try and find out what the hell it IS with these boys... Still. No. I've listened to their music. I've looked at photo-shoots and gifs. I've checked out music-vids and interviews.

Still. No. HELLS to the noes!

And apparently... I am alone in feeling like this. And it's like you are SUPPOSED to fall for them as soon as you see them.

Now... this plague and fan-movement reminds me of something else... Bare with me. I am kinda old... well, at least not young.

New Kids on the Block? Anyone remember them? Yes? No? This fanmovement going on right now reminds me A LOT of the fans of NKOTB back then. If you didn't like NKOTB back then, you were strange and usually got bullied for it. (School-years, bullying happened for much.)

And then there were all the bands that followed in NKOTB's wake. Anyone remember them today? Take That? Backstreet Boys? East 17? Five? Boyzone? Westlife? 'N Sync? Bros? Wet Wet Wet? No Mercy?

They all still make music. But they are far FAR from their old glory. Still, the insane flame that runs around, the plague around One Direction and Big Time Rush reminds me a lot of these bands. Even their music reminds me a lot of some of the above mentioned bands. And not in a good way. It's like someone took NKOTB, dusted them off, put on a new suit and presented them again. *shakes head*

Aaaaaand I'll probably lose friends over this... :-P And if you wanna filter your posts, be my guest. Do so. But I hope I can still read about YOU. Because if I friended YOU it is YOU I am interested in and wanna read about.

Enjoy your new fandom, people. Just don't force me into it.

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kseenaa: (Default)
KSena

This is KSena

Usually a friendly sort. Be nice to me, and I am nice to you. Here I ramble on about me, life, work and fandoms. I am a fan of Robin of Sherwood, Xena: Warrior Princess, Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tokio Hotel and Sons of Anarchy. I don't apologize for anything I write here. This is my mind. And you entered it. Welcome.

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