kseenaa: (Tea loved)
If you remember I didn't do that good before Midsummer. And in the end, that might have been a blessing in disguise. Which sounds weird as fuck, but hear me out here.

I was still down and a bit out of it during packing in the morning, to the point I almost pissed Peting off, because he figured I could try to see something good with the trip. And I did!! I did! Meeting my huge insane extended family is GOLD! It was what kept me going, to meet them all at my aunts as she holds her annual Midsummer party the day before Midsummer Eve.

So, once we packed (which actually went surprisingly well... very surprising!), we were on our way to meet up with my aunt and her family. One of my cousins are still globetrotting, which she's done for years, but her two siblings would be there. Those three cousins are the closest to me of all my relatives. We grew up as siblings almost, since our mothers are so close.

We hung out with my aunts husband (totally awesome!) and one of my cousins until my aunt got off work. Then we just hung out, talked and helped her. Alexandra charmed everyone that saw her, as par usual, even if she was very shy at first. Also normal. Peting left early, since he had an 8 hour drive to do from my aunts to his friend further north in the country.

Which is part of what stressed me out and left me feel totally out if it. Because now we're basically dumped at my aunts. I didn't know when my mom was going to show, and I knew she just wanted us to drive her to the next party with her gentleman caller and then we'd be abandoned at her home for Midsummer Eve. Just me and Alexandra. By ourselves. During a holiday usually celebrated with family. (Unless you are a teen or of drinking age, then you just get drunk.)

Either way, it felt really depressing and stressful. My aunt hugged me lots and kept saying her sister was insane that she didn't want to hang out with me and Alexandra on Midsummer Eve when we so rarely get to go to visit her.

A bit past 8pm Alexandra was starting to whine that she was tired and wanted to leave and go to bed. She was being very good and had stayed up more than an hour past her normal bedtime, so totally understandable. I had a ton of packing, so I asked my aunt, cousin and some more relatives to help me carry my stuff to mom's car, since she'd arrived an hour or so earlier.

And then it started. How I was supposed to drive her and her gentleman caller here and there BEFORE I could go home to moms and put me and Alexandra to bed and the things there was in the fridge for us to eat, classical Midsummer food, and this and that and I just...

I lost it a bit. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did. So mom and aunt and one of my second cousins (that I adore) saw and heard.

Everyone hugged me and helped me and all was good. I drove off, just me and Alexandra. She was sooo tired, but was doing good and even though I said she could sleep in the car, she didn't. The phone went off twice during the drive, but I couldn't answer and drive at the same time during the evening, so I figured I'd see who it was once Alexandra was in bed.

She did great, went to bed at mom's feel asleep and all, after almost an hour (!), but that was expected when not being in her own bed.

Checking my phone while unpacking the car (headphones is the shit), it was mom that had called and texted me. She was upset I was upset and all... and when I called her she said she'd cancelled her plans with her gentleman caller so she could be with me and Alexandra.

I felt bad about that, guilty that she cancelled her plans. I had her car, but some relatives drove her home. We hugged and talked and it was all good.

We ended up having a GREAT Midsummer Eve! Probably the best one I've had in a couple of years. Ever since Peting started to go visiting his friend by himself, I'd say. I kept feeling guilty about ruining mom's plans, but it faded eventually.

My aunt and her husband came over to, and we had SUCH a good time! We really really did! Mom told me she had such a great time to, and I believe her! I could tell she wasn't just saying that.

We ended up staying with mom for a whole week! :-D Midsummer Eve and Midsummer Day just me and Alexandra. Peting joined us late late Midsummer Day. The day after that my brother dropped off his kids, and they stayed there as well for the rest of the week. FULL HOUSE! *LOL* It was great. :-D It really was. Alexandra had a blast the whole time. There was much giggling to be heard every night when them three kids was going to sleep. *LOL*

And I managed to relax to! Me, who am always stressing over one thing or another managed to STOP doing that and just... relax and hanging out with the kids. It was GREAT!

We took it easy at mom's, went to the public pool, cooked and baked together... It was WONDERFUL! I could see mom had a blast to being surrounded by all three of her grandkids at the same time, which is pretty rare.

So that whole trip ended up amazing, even if it had a very rocky start. :-)

On Sunday [personal profile] snowstormskies is coming here for her, by this point, annual visit! I think it's the fourth time she visits, unless I've lost count. *lol* We don't have any huge plans. Just to hang out, visit mom and go to Karlsborg's fortress. Going to be nice, I think! :-D

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (GoT Sansa Looking Up)
Midsummer. Again. :-/ Ever since the disastrous trip to Peting friend a couple of years ago I feel really horrible during Midsummer. Which ALSO bums me out, because Midsummer used to be one of my favorites holidays during the year. :-/

*sigh*

Thing is, it has gotten even worse. Because since my mom meet her gentleman caller, she goes to parties with him on Midsummer. So... Me and Alexandra is pretty much dumped all alone at Mom's house during Midsummer.

Peting is going to his friend in the north this year to. And mom, well. She's going to two Midsummer parties with her gentleman caller, which makes me feel even more down. I mean, we're not able to go visit her that often, but still he goes first. :-/

If I'm jealous? A little, yeah. If we're there, why doesn't she want to hang out with us? When her gentleman caller is there, it's... I don't feel as comfortable. I don't know. It's odd. :-P

And I feel horribly guilty for saying that to. Because Mom seems to genuinely care and love him. *SIGH*

As you can clearly see I am not doing quite good right now. I hope I'll feel better shortly. I do have my vacation from work right now. Which doesn't mean I'll have it slow.

Oh no.
  • 22 - 28 June, Being at mom's and celebrating (ha!) Midsummer.


  • 2 - 6 July, [personal profile] snowstormskies are here visiting, which I'm SOOOO looking forward to!!!


  • 7 - 8 July, Astrid Lindgrens World Park with brother and his kids as well.


  • 10 - 12 July, Going to the coast and staying at a luxury hotel for two nights. Hopefully the weather will be nice...


  • 17 July, going back to work. So there's a lot of things going on. Fun things! I should be happy about it! It's just.... A lot. And then Midsummer... UGH. Next year I'll be renting a car, because that would take a load of the stress for me, to be quite honest.

Wish me luck tomorrow?

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Me Springtime)
Work is as crazy as ever. Hopefully next week it will calm down enough so I can actually breath. It’s… yeah. It’s not good this year. :-P

Have some questions instead so I won’t fall behind too much. :-) I WILL finish this one off, dammit!!!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?
Yes and no. In the end, I’d have to say yes. If I don’t put down things I need to remember in writing, I’ll forget them. Without fail. It’s why my calendar is so important to me. I have all the stuff I need to remember there both for work and for family-life. I just panicked a bit when I forgot it at home one day when going to work…

73: what are some of your worst habits?
According to my boss I have a tendency to act like a teenager sometimes. *LOL* In a not good way, I suppose. Like, if there’s a bit to much going on and something just gets thrown at me that I have to deal with I can go in a total ‘nope’-mood and just refuse to do it. Which is OK privately but not professionally. :-)
I also get stressed and feel absolutely horrid if I make someone disappointed for whatever reason. I have a tendency to take things upon myself thinking it’s my fault.
So those two are the main ones.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.
Not my best friend, just a note. ;-)

A strong tough person who's been through something that is possibly a nightmare for many. One I first meet this one things were pretty bleak for them. Hiding away from the world, only going out at night, hiding from the sun… We’ve had our fights, for sure… Disagreements and such, but I think we’ve gotten better friends because of it. We got to know each other very well after just a short while. This friendship is very dear to me, and it has definitely changed me to the better, I hope.

75: tell us about your pets!
I’ve grown up with cats my whole life, and I currently have two. Two black farm cats that we picked up from a friend to Peting’s mother. They’re both pitch black with just a hint of white on their chest. Pretty yellow eyes to. :-) They are getting old now, around 12-13 years of age. Since they are indoors cats, they’ve kept healthy their whole life, and have just a bit of overweight, but nothing to be concerned about according to our vet. We do take them on checkups and shoots once a year. :-) Even though they are sisters and look just the same, they are very different personalities. Skuld is a bit standoffish, does not like to be picked up and if she wants cuddles she comes to you, thank you ever so. Verdandi we can pick and do almost anything we want with, she likes it and goes along with it. She’s more social than Skuld. The weird thing though is… when it comes to Alexandra it’s the other way around!!!! :-D Skuld searches Alexandra out, and Alexandra can do whatever she wants with her! Verdandi though does not like Alexandra and usually goes the other way and avoids Alexandra as much as possible. She can stand her for very very short amounts of time though. Verdandi has her places in the apartment that is just hers where she goes to get away from Alexandra, which we’ve taught Alexandra to respect. :-) They are our furbabies and definitely a big part of our family!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?
I’m at work and should probably fix up new books so they can be put in the shelfs, but fuck that. I’m working until 6pm and I’m not in the school-library, so I can’t be bothered today. :-)

77: pink or yellow lemonade?
Ehr… Both? :-P

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?
If you mean the minions from the Despicable Me movies, I like them. Not a fan, but they're alright and mildly amusing in the movie. :-)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?
Oh gawd, I can’t think of anything. o.O I mean, my kid does cute things all the time (when she doesn’t have her horrible morning temper…). So I could pick anything she does! Her hugs are the best!
My brothers support when I’m feeling down is also out of this world! He might be 35 years old, but he can be such a cutie sometimes it’s hilarious!
Conversations I have with Peting is the best, and he can say the most wonderful things to me sometimes. They’re not romantic. He doesn’t do romance or romantic things. But they’re still cute and great lift-me-uppers. :-D
When my mom, who is 63, tells me, who is 39, that I’m still her little girl… :-D That’s pretty cute, right?

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?
One wall is black with hints of bamboo on it. And the other three are white with birds sitting on bamboo sticks. :-) And yes, we picked them wallpapers out together me and Peting. Put them up ourselves to!


All the questions! )

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Scowl Dame Edna)
I don’t even know where to start. Safe to say… It’s the end of this school term. So everything is just… Insane! Meaning I’m constantly stressed the hell out. :-/

Had a meeting with my boss not that long ago, and I told her it doesn’t feel like I’m doing a good job this school term. Feels like I’m constantly failing. I want to do so much… But I feel as if I’m not enough. That I’d be able to do so much more if only…. :-P

My boss, bless her, bascilly told me I’m idiot but in much nicer terms when she came to visit me. I think she noticed that I’d probably had had it by now.

And I have. Because end of school term does not mean less work for me. Oh no! Then it’s time for…

The summer reading program!!!!

*dies* *SIGH* And in my school and the schools around here it’s called The Summerbookclub! Meaning, the kids have to read six books, report them in in a special folder, and when the school starts again after summer, they get a little FIKA party with something sweet to eat and a gift (usually book or something book-related).

All well and good. It’s just that all of that needs to be prepared. The folders need to be ordered. All of that. Preferabley some time ahead. That hasn’t happened this year. This year everything is planned and ordred with VERY little time to spare. No time to spare, to be honest. :-P

And it pisses me the fuck off. I don’t feel that good when such things happen. I need things to be preplanned before hand. So I know I have what I need before I present the whole thing for the kids at the school. This? Is to freaking stressful.

And it’s all well and good on my colleagues schools. They only have kids from the age if six to the age of twelve. I have about twice the amount of kids/teens at my school and they run from the age of six to the age of 15… A WEEE bit of difference there. :-P

Ugh. :-P

Anyone tells me it is a relaxed job to work as a school-librarian I’m going to punch in the face!

And to top it off, I found out about the bomb at the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, UK. WTH?!?!?! I just… I got no words for that.

So if you follow me elsewhere, you have to excuse my low mood these days. Work and world, I tell you…

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.
kseenaa: (Cool story bro)
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I love the RHPS! I've seen it many times, but not the new version. I do want to, but I think the original will always be best. Beetlejuice is also an old favorite, as is Pulp Fiction! But I've not heard of Heathers before, so that one is new. If it's anything like the others, maybe I should check it out. :-)

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?
What kind of quesiton is that? Hmm... At my age relatives start do die off. So it's probably been at a funural or other. Clear memories are of my brother and mother when dad died. And my best friend when her grandmother died.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Can't think of anything to be honest. I usually go loud and does a lot of weird things with my hands when I'm in a discussion and wants to prove my point.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?
When people dare to be honest with me. When they trust me enough to be that. And when they dare to be close for hugs. Hugging is something I love to do. Both with family, friends... Kids and teens in school... You dare do that, you'll get one hell of a hug in return! Got like 8 hugs at work on day, that was probably the best day at work ever!

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?
Not one of those that feel a need to reenact said song, but damn... It's one HELL of a piece of music! I LOVE Queen! Would love to see Queen and Adam Lambert one day!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?
I have no idea what this means, and I don't feel like looking it up, so I'll just ignore it. *continues*

59: what's your favorite myth?
Oh gawd... I have many, to be honest. I LOVE Norse Mythology. As in the Aesir with Odin, Thor, Frey, Freya, Loke... Etc, etc... And no, I do NOT mean the Marvel version!!!! I mean the proper mythology that has survived from the vikings to our days. THAT is my favorite mythology!!! All the stories about them gods. From the creation of the world, to Ragnarök where the world dies... I'm not going to get into it, I can be longwinded. :-P

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
According to common belief apparently librarians are supposed to enjoy poetry.... Poetry and red wine. I enjoy neither. *shrug* I guess I'm the weird librarian.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?
I think I bought some sextoy or another to a friend once... together with penis-shaped pasta. X-D Yes, apparently those USED to be a thing once. Can't think of any stupid thing I've gotten, but probably clothes that are to small. I hate that. :-/

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?
No, I don't. I drink a vitamin-drink every day instead. :-)

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?
I'd like to keep them organized, it's a thing from work I suppose... But since we have so many books in such different sizes, it's impossible. I've gone through my books many times and throw away a lot. Let's just say... Peting don't believe in doing that... *cough*

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?
Black, since it's in the middle of the night/early morning.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?
I sometimes wonder what happened to the friends I had in the village / community where I grew up. I'd just like to say hey and ask what they've been up to. I think we're to different now to be friends, but still it would be nice.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?
Lots and lots of wildflowers native from Sweden. :-)

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Depends on when during the year... If it happens during winter or summer, it doesn't bother me much. I just snuggle down with tea and something good to read or watch. February though.... That's my bad month. If it happens then, and it does. That whole month is gloomy as fuck. Then I lose energy, get snappy, and is generally not nice person with very little patience. And I usually have A LOT of patience.

68: what's winter like where you live?
Dark. X-D That about sums it up. Very dark, since we have precious little daylight hours. And cold and wet, since it either snows or rains. And it's usually quite windy to. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? X-D

69: what are your favorite board games?
If we're talking boardgames and not roleplaying games, it has to be Cluedo / Clue. I LOVE THAT GAME!!!!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?
Nope. You shouldn't play around with things like that. You just never know...


71: what's your favorite kind of tea?
I like black tea, preferably flavored with some fruit or berry. I love the tea from the swedish company Kränku that is based on Gotland. They flavor their tea themselves, and it's a DELIGHT to drink!


All the questions! )

This entry is crossposted between LJ and DW. Comment where you are comfortable.

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kseenaa: (Default)
KSena

This is KSena

Usually a friendly sort. Be nice to me, and I am nice to you. Here I ramble on about me, life, work and fandoms. I am a fan of Robin of Sherwood, Xena: Warrior Princess, Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tokio Hotel and Sons of Anarchy. I don't apologize for anything I write here. This is my mind. And you entered it. Welcome.

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